Pathogen Jungle

Send your little lion cubs to school and they return home sick. You can almost see the cloud of germs trailing behind them. What do we expect, though, from the Petri Dish we call a classroom? Every child in the classroom has been taught different hygiene practices by their family unit. Some are taught adequately, …

Angsty Frogs

Born For Dis. Whenever you come upon an acronym or abbreviation, and that acronym or abbreviation is not defined in any way within the surrounding text, you have my complete and utter permission to invent the meaning. So, if you come upon a BFD, wild and untamed, feel free to start taming it and give …

Chums

My friend Rudy Magrudian spun a Q-tip so fast he started a fire in his ear. He said, “That’s nothing. You should see what I can do with a box of matches.” He once promised that if we were ever in a robbery, he would shield me from all the bullets. All the bullets in …

Experi-Mental

Warning: If you’re a fan of coffee, this article is not likely for you. So I have this tree which drops so many small brown things, when they’re collected they look like coffee grounds. I’m so impressed with how much the droppings look like coffee grounds, I felt obliged to do something with them. Being …