Top ten reasons to replace your old car: 10. The miles per gallon is like a good golf score. 9. Worn upholstery, peeling paint, and other aesthetics. 8. Unidentifiable noise. 7. It won’t pass registration. 6. Electric motors all need to be recoiled/rebuilt. 5. Most of the miles are off-road miles. 4. Dead animal in …
Category Archives: humor
Chums
My friend Rudy Magrudian spun a Q-tip so fast he started a fire in his ear. He said, “That’s nothing. You should see what I can do with a box of matches.” He once promised that if we were ever in a robbery, he would shield me from all the bullets. All the bullets in …
Experi-Mental
Warning: If you’re a fan of coffee, this article is not likely for you. So I have this tree which drops so many small brown things, when they’re collected they look like coffee grounds. I’m so impressed with how much the droppings look like coffee grounds, I felt obliged to do something with them. Being …
Smart Off
Time for the first annual Smart Off, sponsored today by WordNerd, the language learning program that wisely teaches you all the cuss words before anything as common as “Hello.” So, “Hello,” all you bastardos apestosos. Welcome to the Smart Off, a challenge of witty proportions. Should you choose to participate, you’ll need to borrow a …
The day the magic school bus was frozen to the parking lot
It was the longest cold spell in Walkerville history. All the kids were excited that the schools were closed. All the kids, except the ones who were supposed to go on a field trip. Their bus was the only way they could get around to places like Hawaii and Pompeii. And why did they want …
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