Xenosthesia.com

Football

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I’m a mountain biker. That fact doesn’t preclude or necessitate a dislike for football, whether it’s the North-American type about dudes in nylons slapping each other’s butts or the European/South-American kind with murderous, bloodthirsty fans. Being a mountain biker doesn’t mean you have to dislike football; however, because I’m an outsider, I’m in the perfect point to give you an outsider’s point of view. I’ve never painted a number on my chest or thrown a cash wager on a team. I’ve never gone to a stadium to watch the “action” up close. A few times I’ve enjoyed watching games on television or even local games in fields where the seating is whatever you brought, but I can tell you with definitive experience it’s much more fun to PLAY either type of football than to watch. Watching is the lowest form of any kind of sport, for sure. Watching any kind of football is like watching the Titanic sink—there’s an entertaining gurgle sometime between beginning and end—but the end is just sad. People paid for tickets, you know what I mean? One thing I absolutely love about North-American football is that fans wearing Raiders gear are the equivalent of punk rock fans wearing Misfit t-shirts. Some are all dark and brooding, super serious about their fanaticism. Others are just wearing it because they truly like the band/team. And don’t forget the street cred, dude!

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Birthday Cards

In 2025 I roped my family into sending everyone we could, in our extended family, birthday cards. It didn’t involve store-bought cards, though. Instead, we made our own and wrote a personal note in each card. We found an old Calvin and Hobbes book at the library surplus sale. We bought it for one American dollar and cut strips out to put in each card. For each person, we tried to pick comics they might enjoy, so each card was personalized in that way as well.

It was a satisfying exercise, with only a little bit of arts and crafts necessary. We used colored construction paper, Sharpies, and a little clear tape. About half way through the year, we realized taping the comics inside the card was totally unnecessary, so we ceased that operation.

The whole process wasn’t too difficult, though parts of the process were challenging. If there were birthdays with a long time in between, then it was challenging to make sure we didn’t forget. A couple of times during the year we noticed someone’s birthday was coming up soon and we had to rush the card. Two days was the limit for in-town deliveries. One time we were late enough we had to take the card to the person ourselves. None were late, fortunately, even the out-of-town ones. Another challenge was being consistent, so no one in the same family got more or less than anyone else in the same family.

After one year of that, I can say I would do it again, but not this year. I need a break.

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Ready Kit

A ready kit is a good thing to have in case of nearly any emergency. Floods, fires, and earthquakes are often not what kill people. It’s lack of preparedness. If you happen to survive a major calamity, wouldn’t it be sad to die of starvation afterward? To die of an infected scrape on your knee would be the ultimate insult to hardiness. Just a few items could be all it takes to ensure your survival—after you’ve already survived the catastrophe.

Although the above is dramatic, there is some truth in it. Often, the emergency is less than catastrophic, so the chances of survival are much greater. Even if the emergency situation is not so wide-spread and disastrous, having a kit can make life much more bearable until things transition back to normal.

How to make a Ready Kit:

Sustainable Food and Water (usually canned food and bottled water)

First Aid kit

Hygiene items

Flashlight

Pocket knife

Mess kit

Whistle

Matches/lighter

Mirror

Fishing pole

Toilet paper

Battery-operated radio

Phone charger

Work gloves

Safety glasses

Safety masks

Portable stove

Extra clothes

Writing materials

Camera

Personal identification

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Here’s a holiday which is not celebrated around the world, though it could be. Martin Luther King is not only about himself and his own, but committed to freedom for everyone everywhere.

“The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists who are dedicated to justice,…” ~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

He is genuinely concerned for the welfare of the world, as you may have noticed from the quote above, in which he says “world” instead of any number of other things. He didn’t say “neighborhood” or “nation”. He said “world”.

His influence for the decent treatment of mankind doesn’t end at the borders of the U.S.A. It could, and does, easily extend to other countries, other continents. From Canada to Chile. From Liberia to Siberia. From the hottest parts of Australia to the coldest parts of Austria, Martin Luther King’s voice is heard, and his ideas are known. All we have to do is reiterate his peaceful message.

That brings me to my second point of this article: His message cannot be confined to one day. The whole reason I’m sending this article out on the Tuesday after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. day (or, if you’re in Australia, the Wednesday after) is to point out that his message of peace cannot be confined in borders of time any more than it can be confined behind physical barriers.

There are those in this world who love to deny peace. There are those who live in greed, and when they see peace they immediately wish to destroy it.

“We have guided missiles and misguided men.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Peace is peace, man. No one can change peace. All they can do is put it off for a while. No amount of grasping for monetary gain through warfare can put off peace indefinitely. Peace will win in the end.

Strange Product Names

Along with those products which were unknowingly titled in such a way as to distance potential purchasers, there are products which are given names translating to something utterly bizarre in certain languages. Bite The Wax Tadpole is a famous example. The product it came from is not worth mentioning anyway, but even less so since the translated name is so much more fun to say than the original.

One strange name for a product which could seem strange, innocent, or even disgusting, depending on how you view it is Green Piles, a Japanese name for a lawn fertilizer.

Another one from Japan is a brand of beef jerky which they decided to name Homo Sausage. Just another name that could be seen in a variety of ways. Strange? Innocent? Disgusting? Would you buy it?

From Sweden, there’s Krapp, a special brand of toilet paper that believes in true advertising.

Again from Sweden, there’s Plopp, which is a chocolate bar. This name might make you think of something other than what the product really is.

And would you buy an orangeade type drink if it was called Pipi? You can find it in Yugoslavia. (See the image at the start of this article.)

In Czechoslovakia you could buy detergent named Polio. Not really. The Czechs were brilliant in getting rid of the disease polio because they administered the vaccine via sugar cubes and had a campaign endorsing soaps and detergents to further hygiene practices in their citizens. Their country was extremely successful in battling the disease, and the name Polio associated with detergent is a sort of urban legend.

Zit is a Greek lemon lime drink. No kidding. They make it with real natural ingredients. Sounds good to me.