It doesn’t get any better than Cinco de Maya on a Taco Tuesday. Check out the spread, then make your own.
Tacos, burritos, enchiladas, empanadas, quesadillas, nachos, guacamole, carne asada, chile verde, fajitas, pollo relleno, chile relleno, tostadas, and so much more is yours on Cinco de Mayo.
In heaven there will be a Mexican food buffet where you never see the bottom of the guacamole bowl, the salsa pours from a fountain, and burritos are every shape and size. Everything at the buffet is exactly the right temperature all the time.
However, until we all meet at the heavenly buffet, there’s Taco Tuesday and Cinco de Mayo.
Whenever you come upon an acronym or abbreviation, and that acronym or abbreviation is not defined in any way within the surrounding text, you have my complete and utter permission to invent the meaning. So, if you come upon a BFD, wild and untamed, feel free to start taming it and give it a pet name of your choosing. Born For Dis makes a lot of sense to me…
This is the disclaimer part. You might think I would get in so much trouble for telling you to do this next part, but you’d be wrong, because I actually have zero authority here. If I tell you to write in any book you come across with an undefined acronym, it carries no authoritative weight. You write what you want where you want because your will is your own. But it would be so funny if you were reading some mind-slaughtering textbook and you came across an acronym for an equally mind-slaughtering concept such as FIRFA, the Radar Frequency Act of 2049, and you wrote in the margins “Federally Insured Rabbit Fluffers of America”.
All the underrated Rabbit Fluffers of the world will appreciate you.
You could get even wilder than that, if your creativity demands it.
The same creativity could guide you to insert an Angsty Frog, every time you see someone add an AF to their text messages.
Maybe your friend sends, “I’m tired AF.”
Then you send back, “You’re a tired Angsty Frog?”
Then they send back, “SMH.”
“So Much Hummus? Send More Haggis? Are you hungry or something?”
Then they don’t send anything…for a long time. Don’t worry, he or she is still your friend. Even though you are “Sure To Feel Underrated” and that’s not at all what everyone meant when they sent you STFU, do realize you will always have friends in the Rabbit Fluffer crowd.
If you thought you did, then you need to listen to this: In the country of Belize, they have a Sports Psychic. The Sports Psychic can predict how your favorite team or athlete will perform in the next game or the next competition. Using occult knowledge and resources like astrology or bones, the general cast of the game will be predicted.
This is not new. The Romans used similar technics to try to guess the health of their sacrificial Christian competitors and the comparative health of the hungry lions in the same arena. Back then, the Romans did not call it a “Sports Psychic,” rather the job was referred to as Maleficus, sometimes as Incantator, and, if the person was wrong much of the time, then it was Altera Victima (next victim).
Today though, we don’t send lions in after our volleyball teams to see how many survive before the lion is full. We don’t make swim teams swim through pools of poisonous jellyfish and then ask the “Magus” to predict who will complete a lap. We let the muscles and the steroids decide.
However, if you want to add the aspect of the psychic arts to your spectating experience, look no further than the Sports Psychic.
And now imagine how the Sports Psychic could improve any sport. The Sports Psychic could consult with your losing team and convince them it’s not their lack of skill which is keeping them down but the fact that they all wear the same color of socks on the Thursday after a Jupiter moon syzygy. If only they’d change their socks, they might begin to win.
Perhaps the Sports Psychic could align the appropriate spirits to get Tiger Woods back in action. Who knows but the Sports Psychic could predict conditions on the mountain for mountain bikers, line out the days for fishermen to catch the best fish, predict the big waves for surfers, or even tell us if Razer will win another robot battle soon.
***Gilroy “Press” Cadogan, the Sports Psychic, can be found on Facebook and 7 News Belize.***
If you love the green of trees, if you love the smell of rain, if you love being outside, you might be a sandal-wearing hippie. On the other hand, you may have Earth Love.
Love isn’t exclusive to hippies. It isn’t reserved for Christians. Love doesn’t only happen on the day you get married, and it isn’t only felt for other people. Love can be felt, undoubtedly, for pets and other animals, and yes, love can be felt for the planet on which we reside.
The greatest aspect of recognizing when you have a love for Earth is the feeling of responsibility for Earth. We don’t live here for free. Not 100% free. If we enjoy clean water to drink, there are things we absolutely must do to have it. Likewise with good, healthy food. If we wish to survive at all, we have to take action.
Earth Love, of course, goes beyond survival. It helps us care for the animals and plants not directly in our food chain. This kind of love transcends our inner natural-selection self.
When you start feeling a love for the Earth, and the earth which is its constitution, you discover an ability to care even for nearly invisible organisms such as macrobiotic crust. Yes, ALL varieties of macrobiotic crust—the dietary kind, and the living earth kind.
Could you imagine? Caring for lichen? Caring about algae? Caring about the current state of cyanobacteria?
Xenosthesia.com 