Level Up

It’s not only about trudging onward. Life is about motivation and rewards. If you’ve done something amazing lately, shout about it.

Say, “Level UP,” loud enough everyone can hear you.

It doesn’t matter if they ask you how long since your last dose of medication. It doesn’t matter if they think you’re nuts. What matters most here is that you hear yourself. You need the internal validation most of all. The internal validation will create internal motivation.

Once you master motivating yourself, you’ll be on to the next level faster than a razor over Sinead O’Connor’s head.

Of course motivation is not the only thing to think about here. Rewards are important too. Let’s say you completed day 61 of a 60 day Keto diet. Reward yourself with a can of nuts.

Or, as another example, I just finished setting up a web page for people to share their favorite, most profound questions of life (see the previous post). I said, “Level UP!” and rewarded myself with a super lazy day off.

The day off, so you know, was followed by a day of work. (There’s the motivation kicking in.)

The point is not a simple, “You can do this.” It’s also, “You can ROCK at this!”

Ponderous Project

Having always been curious how other people’s minds work, I’ve set up a method for studying them a little closer. On this web site is a submission page titled Question Submission Form. There you will find a way to tell me the most hypnotic question you have ever known. What I get out of this is a simple way for me to study the minds of others. The process is not one-sided, though. There is possibly something in it for YOU. For those who submit the most captivating, most curious, most cerebral questions, there is the possibility of being a part of an upcoming Ponderous collection which will be titled Ponderous You.

For example, if a person named Djonny DeSoto was to submit a question such as: “Where did my sock go after I put it in the laundry drying machine?” and, if that question was deemed worthy, then he could expect to see the question on a page in the upcoming Ponderous You looking like this:

Where did my sock go after I put it in the laundry drying machine? ~Djonny DeSoto

If this interests you, and you have questions rolling around in your head which you think could benefit the world, then click here to submit a question.

By the way, there is no formal topic for the questions you may submit. There are some guidelines though which may help you know what sort of question will be more likely to get printed.

  1. No profanity. If you’re unsure what constitutes profanity, you might refer to George Carlin’s “7 words you can’t say on television”. Though his list was collected from the television studios of the previous century, those words still relate to quality publications. Racist, misogynistic, or otherwise degrading words and phrases will not be accepted.
  2. Questions should be universal, or close to, so they can be understood by everyone on Earth and most everyone off Earth. Avoid exclusive ideas, or complicated prose.
  3. Philosophical ideas will be graded more highly. The original Ponderous was highly existential in its tone and so that is what is wanted for Ponderous You.
  4. Avoid “Yes or No” questions. Some dead-end questions of this type will be allowed if their subject matter is profound and thought-provoking. Most will be discarded.
  5. Avoid “Pajama Party” questions along the line of, “What’s your favorite color?” or “What would you do if you caught someone lying to you?” These sorts of questions may generate a variety of answers, but they don’t usually promote long hours of deep thought.
  6. Ideal questions are those which can be followed by another question.
  7. Simpler phrases or succinct wording is preferred.
  8. Spelling and punctuation will not be graded, however, they will be corrected by the editor.

How To Quatro

How to role-play:

  1. Obtain 12-sided die.
  2. Create map.
  3. Paint miniatures.
  4. Use your imagination.
  5. Dread the return to reality.

How to be unscientific:

  1. Latch on to common chestnuts.
  2. Spout common chestnuts at every possible moment.
  3. Pretend everyone else is less intelligent.
  4. Argue for narrow-minded ideas.
  5. Get offended at disagreements with your bias.

How to be scientific:

  1. Learn to use words such as: experiment, unbiased, dedication.
  2. Actually operate in an unbiased way.
  3. Never be satisfied with single results.
  4. Always repeat experiments.
  5. Be dedicated to learning.

How to live:

  1. Breathe.
  2. Keep a heartbeat.
  3. Get a puppy.
  4. Relax when it’s time. Work when it’s time.
  5. Make space for others.
  6. Enjoy the variety.

How to win at video games:

  1. Never turn 13.
  2. Exercise your thumbs.
  3. Hang your tongue out a little to keep your balance.

How to save money:

  1. Eat less.
  2. Want less.
  3. Wear it ’til it’s worn out.
  4. Use it ’til it doesn’t work.
  5. Don’t fear any ridicule—accept no peers.

How to be religious:

  1. Study the nature of your spirit.
  2. Study nature.
  3. Study scripture.
  4. Meditate and pray.
  5. Be fearless.

How to write a novel:

  1. Brew coffee.
  2. Pour that crap out because you don’t want a headache or osteoporosis.
  3. Go straight for the Jager.
  4. Wear leather jacket and nothing else.
  5. Pound keyboard for 17 consecutive hours.
  6. Wake up for hangover and hate.
  7. Hate the thing you wrote.
  8. Throw that crap out because you don’t want the headache or eyestrain.
  9. Repeat process every 3 days.

How To Trois

How to run a ‘blog:

  1. Start typing.
  2. Call all other web loggers a bunch of monkeys on keyboards.
  3. Get push-back.
  4. Log the push-back.

How to fall in love:

  1. Meet someone.
  2. Go head over heels.
  3. Go ga-ga.
  4. Flip your lid.
  5. Be smitten.
  6. Get married.

How to buy a car:

  1. Test drive some you think you might like.
  2. Look at your budget.
  3. Save up.
  4. Get impatient.
  5. Go buy your brother-in-law’s old rust pile.
  6. Have enough money left for gas and a tree-shaped air freshener.

How to freeze:

  1. Walk around in winter without socks.
  2. Or shoes.

How to dress up the truth:

  1. Pretend you’re a mob boss.
  2. Consider no one.
  3. Spin it how you like.
  4. Tell no one.
  5. Put a coat of whitewash on it.
  6. Decorate with flowers.
  7. Imaginary flowers.

How To Two

How to make beef jerky:

  1. Get up, 4AM.
  2. Take flashlight.
  3. Sneak into pasture.
  4. Get a run at it.
  5. Tip sleeping cow.
  6. Shine flashlight in cow’s eyes.
  7. Beef jerky.

How to operate a talk show:

  1. Get ugly furniture.
  2. Get a camera.
  3. Talk.

How to cure a headache:

  1. Take off your hat.
  2. Close your eyes.
  3. Walk around.
  4. Stub your toe.
  5. Headache cured.

How to make a baby:

  1. I can’t think of any funny stuff.
  2. Only serious stuff.
  3. Making a baby is serious and requires mature responsibility.
  4. People who don’t take it seriously are screwing up the world.

How to make cookies:

  1. Sugar, butter, flour, eggs.
  2. Heat.
  3. Serve with milk.

How to age up:

  1. Eat lots of cookies.
  2. Eat lots of veggies.
  3. Exercise.
  4. Don’t die before your next birthday.