Categorical Love

A woman whose husband has sports equipment he’s never used. And she doesn’t mention it. A woman who thinks her husband is hot. A man who thinks his wife is hot. A man who picks up the cracker off the kitchen floor, instead of complaining that his wife didn’t pick it up. Dogs who love …

Circular Attacks

The topic of bullying is a circular one. Let’s say you feel like the rich man is bullying you by pouring his finances in anti-you organizations. You protest locally. Change is so slow and seemingly out of reach. But then something twists. A worker at the anti-you organization claims he was bullied by protesters as …

13 ways to define your love for V-day

Lines for your valentine you won’t likely find in a Hallmark card:   Nerdy: You’re the central node of my network. Country: You’re like fresh eggs and warm milk. City: You’re my 20th floor. What a beautiful view! Fatty: You’re the canned cheese on my cracker. Eerie: Yours is the only mind I want to …

Le Film Romantique

For Valentine’s Day this year, your first responsibility is to learn French. It’s la langue de la vache. No, no, no. It’s la langue de l’amour. Ha ha ha! Either way, you could get yourself laughed at or in trouble, or both, unless you learn it up good. So learn French. Ready? Go! While you …

To Turn a Phrase

Hyperbole is embedded so deeply in everyday language, we can’t possibly extricate it. No one ever wants to see what it looks like when skin crawls. It’s a phrase with a meaning beyond the norm when you say, “My skin is crawling.” Sort of like when you say you can feel it in your bones. …