A Nail?!

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Of course I was going to ‘barchive about something else today, but I had a minor mountain biking adventure and I just absolutely had to share it and stash it in the archive. Especially with this picture. Can you see that? The nail actually went through twice?

Life is an adventure. Make sure you take pictures.

Here’s how it went down: So I was just doing my usual morning commute. It’s only three miles from home to work. It actually takes me the same amount of time to ride as it does to drive, because of traffic lights and other obstacles to driving. I love the Earth too, so I prefer riding. Aside from all that peace, love, and hippie-grease stuff, riding is good exercise and it keeps me ready for the really hard trails in the mountains. The day I got the nail I was going really fast, partly because I could, and partly because I was listening to The Cult “New York City”. The song was propelling me, you could say. I was riding on the side of the road, and since I had The Cult turned way up, I couldn’t hear the puncture,  or any sort of pop! I did feel it though. It felt like a budduh-budduh—you know? So I looked down at it, and I said, “What? How?” ’cause I really didn’t understand what I was seeing or how it happened.

It’s not a good idea to ride on a flat, so I hopped off right away. There was a nice stretch of grass with some trees, and I found some shade there. It was my back tire, so I did the complicated puzzle of getting the tire out of the rear frame and the chain, plopped my tire down on the grass, and…took the picture, of course. I wasn’t going to pull that nail ’til I had some bragging evidence.

Then came the fun part. Two nail-sized holes meant two full-size patches. (I use the Park Tool Super Patch, plug, plug, hyperlink. Parktool.com) While I was in there I noticed a couple of old patches that I couldn’t remember putting on the tube, so I just went all patch-liberal on it and covered everything—just in case. How long exactly does the Park Tool Super Patch keep me riding? Forever, apparently. I was carrying my travel pump, so it took one hundred and seventy pumps before there was enough air to ride again. Then I was back on the road again.

All in all, it wasn’t tragic. It was fun, actually.

And I was only three minutes late.

Chess Moves

photo-1457694716743-eb419114c894It seems to me that a lot of scenes in life relate to chess moves in one way or another.

You can definitely get farther if you know the moves. You can advance yourself further if you weave the concepts of chess moves into the fabric of your current mental constructs.

To list them, there are power moves, there are protection moves, there are common moves, legal moves and sacrifice moves.

Power moves are those that cover the critical parts of the board, or critical opposing pieces, with one or more of your own pieces. Attacking a queen with a knight, for instance, is a power move. Putting a king in check while simultaneously attacking a queen with your knight is a very powerful move.

Protection moves are like secondary power moves. To protect one piece, you might set up a chain-reaction of power movement, if the opponent chooses a course of action. To keep it simple: your bishop might protect a pawn or two, and if the opponent takes one of your pawns then the bishop reacts.

Common moves are like a pawn moving forward one square. Simple. Direct. Common.

Legal moves are those you and your opponent have agreed upon before starting the game. If a change takes place without the consent of both sides, then the move is illegal. You can’t make up your own rules. Especially not mid-game.

Sacrifice moves are those you make when you give up an important piece. Usually sacrifices are made to gain some other important advantage. Losing your queen is fine if you can checkmate your opponent.

So how does it all relate to real life? A knight move could relate to any time when you appeared to be heading toward a goal and then turned abruptly to achieve something better. Like aiming at being an extra in a movie and then getting a speaking part. Like taking some time off of work to relax and actually knocking out some chores at home.

Maybe you have some obstacle to your success. You can’t see around it. You don’t know how to get to your goal on the other side of this obstacle. Using a chess move, you might send in some pawns to dismantle the barrier, or you might send a knight leaping over it, or you might send in the queen to power through everything and clear your path. However you choose to succeed, try taking on the problem in different ways. Nothing kills a good game of chess worse than repetitive moves. Try new tactics and come out victorious.

Dare You To Lick It

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If everyone jumped off a bridge…would the world be more empty? would everyone be more fun? would the bridge handle all that weight?

All I know is that jumping off a bridge sounds like fun, no matter who’s doing it.

I always want to know the specifics: how are they jumping? bungee? b.a.s.e. jump? diving into water? will I need a towel? how many people? will it be crowded? should I bring a lunch? is it a metaphorical jump? or is it for real? if it’s a metaphorical jump, will there still be real jumping involved? will there be snacks after? will there be trophies? best metaphorical bridge jumper? most stylish metaphorical bridge jumper? first place? if it’s for real, will there be motorized vehicles? motorcycles? mountain bikes? trains? is it all for charity? for a good cause? will someone there be named Pastrana? can we ask for autographs? how many practice runs will there be? if someone dies during a practice run, will the rest of the event be cancelled? will there be music? live, or recorded? will there be video? if I get wounded, can I ask for my portion of the video to be deleted? will there be medical persons nearby? if it’s a small cut, is someone sure to yell out, “dare you to lick it”? will it be that kind of crowd? if someone else gets wounded, can I yell out, “dare you to lick it”? if you lick your own blood, are you self-vampiric? if you take a dare, are you courageous because you did dare, or are you cowardly because you didn’t back down from the dare? if I figure out the answer to that last question…paint the philosopher title on the side of my bike.

The Mountain Goat

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The Mountain Goat (Another name for a mountain biker.)

There are many tricks we mountain bikers use while riding.

I have a friend, one of my fellow mountain goats, who likes to adjust his seat. He likes to ride high on the ascents. Uphill, he wants a tall seat. When the trail starts going down though, he drops his seat so he can get his center of gravity over that back wheel. Better balance means a faster, safer ride. He’s got skills.

Personally, I just leave my seat down on a low setting. I don’t have to fiddle with it, and I’m able to stand up for the climbs or hang out over the back wheel if I need to.

We both have this mutual friend who is a doctor. He can afford the latest gadgets. It seems like he has a new bike every year. (Am I jealous? Of course, but the topic of this one isn’t bike envy.) He has a seat with it’s own shock absorption, AND…all he has to do to raise or lower it is, like, clench his butt cheeks a certain way, and the seat will adjust for him. It’s the closest thing to having a robot bike.

Something I do adjust—not my seat, obviously—are my pedal settings. I discovered a long time ago that there are two sides to my pedals. I have the kind you can clip into. So on one side of my pedals I have the tightness really tight. On the other side, I like to keep them more loose. With two choices, I can stay clipped in like a set of mountain goats with horns locked in battle, or like a real mountain goat when it sees a mountain biker coming: outta there in a flash of fur and hooves.

 

Poetry

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Mostly I feel that I don’t like poetry.

But then why do I have this urge to write it?

It’s kind of like those times when you have dreams that baffle you. I dream about math sometimes. I don’t do math regularly, so why would I dream about it?

Well, despite my mixed feelings of poetry, here’s my latest:

 

I’ll be the deejay, you emcee,

I live in the west, the land of the free,

Party on the border, kick the wall into the sea.

I’m the deejay, my party’s a musical one,

Divisive politics don’t look like fun,

Potential friends become enemies you shun.

Political cowards want to hide behind a wall,

Afraid that immigrants will make their country fall,

Unaware of how many went there at the sound of freedom’s call.

The freedom you enjoy is something you can share,

Open your mind to consider,

Open your heart to care,

If you can’t give up the space, then spread libertad…over there.

Not a matter of how, it’s a matter of when,

The politically “active” will take action, and then,

Make Central America Great Again.