Street Quotes


Words overheard in public places:


Girl: Don’t you know what you did?

Boy: No. What was it?

Girl: If you don’t know, then I’m not telling you.

Boy: Then don’t be surprised when it happens again.


“You know, that thing on the thing.” —A man talking to his obviously confused companion.


“We’ve crossed the vast expanse.” —C. C.


“If I am what I eat, then I’m unhealthy and ready in two minutes.” —Jesse Crump


“I miss the old days, when I could insult people in person.” —A man at the 7-11, with cell phone in hand.


Old man (at Target): I have to go to the store.

Old woman: The store?

Old man: I mean the bank.

Old woman: This is why we don’t have any money.


A boy, hollering up at a girl driving a large and lifted diesel truck: “Nice bus!”


What I like about these street quotes is that you can give people their due—if you find out their name. Everyday people should be quoted more often than they are, and so-called famous people should be quoted less often. That’s only my opinion though, so go ahead and form your own opinion. And make your own quotes. I think it’s even perfectly fine to quote yourself. If you say something that’s worth repeating, go ahead and give yourself the line. But if you hear someone else say something clever or funny, you for sure better acknowledge them. Don’t steal other people’s stuff. That’s about as cool as dropping a road kill on the refreshment table.

Anyway, I write things down all the time, so when I hear someone say something interesting, I collect their quotes. I’m sure I’ll have more of these in the future.

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