Mountain biking can be fun if you have the right gear.
One item that is in many ways essential is eye protection. Whether your preferred eye wear is glasses or goggles or shields, you can agree they keep the dirt, dust, and bugs out of your eyes.
Another factor aside from keeping things out is improving range of vision. This can be challenging with mountain biking since the sport takes a rider under trees and into the open. The need to block the sun can vary from moment to moment.
This is why the Julbo line of eyewear is so great. They’ve wisely included transitioning lenses on many of their products. Transition lenses change to sunglasses when exposed to sunlight. They also shift clearer in darker spaces.
The functionality of self-transitioning lenses eliminates the need to remove too-dark sunglasses when entering forested areas which are shady. It also makes it so a rider doesn’t have to trade eyewear at each place where the amount of sunlight changes.
Julbo has a website, but I found some at my local REI.
I’ve been using them for a handful of months now and I wholeheartedly endorse them for all the reasons previously mentioned.
Yes, indeed, June is Bike Month. To kick it off, check out this video of some kooky, crazy bike designs.
Of the lot, my favorite is the forkless cruiser. It doesn’t appear to have any purpose for its wild style, except to draw interest from the crowd. However, the whole purpose of a cruiser is for leisurely rides. Why not make the ride fun to watch as well?
I’ve ridden some odd bikes. Although I haven’t ridden any of those in the above video, trying a different style of bike is absolutely something I could recommend. Try something different, out of the norm, and out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid. Take a friend on a tandem ride, or try a recumbent if you’ve never ridden one. Or you could even try one of the bikes in this video, if you can find any of them.
The one in the video that worries me is the bike with the wheels on each side of the rider. It worries me because it’s so wide. You’d have to get accustomed to how wide it was, or you’d run in to things, especially when you were turning left or right.
Some of the speedy road bikes look like fun, even if only for a minute—before your back started cramping. I can imagine riding some of those for too long and getting off the bike only to find your back was stuck in that position.
The one on which you’re supposed to lay on your stomach looks amazing, but you’d have to have at least one ab or run the risk of bruising yourself. Two abs, and you’d be feeling fine for a while longer. Plus you’d be balanced with two abs. If you have a six pack, you could ride all day. A nine pack? Well in that case you must be Batman. What does Batman need with a crazy bike?
Oh, that’s right, Batman has a motorcycle. At least that’s similar to an ab cruncher bike. You have to have at least one muscle to ride a motorcycle.
And that thought leads me to my last question: Would you rather ride lying on your back, or on your belly?
Can you imagine Mex Chix in the Chex Mix? Can you envision a tuna fish sandwich biting back? Can you imagine not having hot water? How would you cook your ramen if you didn’t have hot water? How would anyone clean themselves? Have you ever seen a drowned fish? Have you ever seen a spider go pale? So scared it couldn’t hold its color? How does a mouth run when it runs on? What are the three things you need to survive on a deserted island? What if you had a map to all the deserted islands everywhere? What if you had a rock concert near your house every day? Then, what if you were the drummer? How do you feel about fog? How does fog feel about you? If nothing is impossible, then how are we talking about it? Nothingness must be real because it has a name, right? Can you imagine all the unreal things suddenly becoming real, and yet fitting inside your pocket? Can you imagine a girl who is stronger than you? That’s real—for everyone. Can you imagine a squid magician who is a squib? He’d be a squid squib. What is Radish? A foreign language? Can you imagine the people who speak Radish? Would they be Radites, or Radians, or maybe Radicals? What if the sky was the ocean? What if you could fall up? How many two-year-olds can grow a mustache? Is this why old men consider themselves superior to two-year-olds? The ability to grow a mustache is feeding the old men’s egos. Can you imagine a deer with a mustache? Somewhere in the wild, there’s a stag wooing the does with his manly mustache. Can you imagine turtles and snails comparing shells? What if dentures looked like real teeth? Tinted yellow. What if you had to wear medieval armor to do your job? Could you still do it? How fast can you chant, “Big Brass Breastplate”? Next time you hear someone cuss, tell them they don’t know ALL the four-letter words. Watch them try to wrap their mind around that. Are there any good vices? Miami Vice? What are the chances that a Pope ever spotted a homeless man a fiver? Yodeling fell out of favor with people in the Andes because it scared the llamas. How many yo-yos have walked their own dog? How many yo-yos does Yo Yo Ma own? How does your brain make the electricity for your heart?
Short screenplays can be fun to write. They don’t take much time because you can decide how much you want to show, or how deeply you want to dive into each character’s attributes, traits, and attitudes.
There’s no need for an in-depth plot, so you can make it as comical, fanciful, or impossible as you like.
Short subjects can be as lengthy or brief as you feel is necessary. The “screenplay” below would be less than a minute of entertainment if made into an actual “movie”.
By the way, archery can be a fun sport, but how much more fun would it be if you got dressed up for the occasion?
EXT.—DAY—FIELD
A tree with an arrow already in it gets struck by another arrow. Across the open space of a forest clearing, a man in blue rags LAUGHS. In his hand is a wooden bow. Next to him, a man in yellowish-brown rags holds a metal bow. As this one speaks, his hands are animated, the metal bow in his hand is throttled up and down with every word.
SPIDER
You can’t possibly hit the target behind a tree.
FREEMAN
On a day like this? Of course I can.
Freeman looks in the sky like he saw a loved one up there. The WIND RUSHES, blowing his shoulder-length hair about his head. His dirty blue rags FLAP in the wind.
SPIDER
Show me.
Freeman nods, looks to the tree with its two arrows. He looks up to the sky again, slowly nocks an arrow, then draws his bowstring steadily back. He licks his lips, blinks twice, and lets the arrow fly up into the sky. The arrow flies high and takes a windblown arc down sidelong to disappear behind the tree. A THUNK and a muffled OOF follow.
SPIDER
Beyond amazing. Now let me show you how I
hit the target rather than the tree…this time.
Freeman bends at the waist with an extended hand, to show Spider deference. Spider rests an arrow at the ready and holds it with the same finger holding the bow’s grip. He scans the field, crouches slightly, then takes off at a run. Despite his speed, he is remarkably silent.
FREEMAN
So quiet.
Spider reaches a point near the arrow tree, leaps laterally, and launches his arrow. His arrow disappears behind the same tree. There is an exclamation of PAIN from behind the tree and a comical character emerges. A set of knight’s armor, apparently stuffed with straw and a human, comes waddling out to the open field. Two arrows are in the straw.
MAN IN ARMOR
Here the competition ends! Both have struck home
in the target, so now the target must strike out—
for home!
FREEMAN
Get back behind that tree or I’ll shoot you
where there is no straw.
The gauntleted hands of the man in the suit of armor immediately go to cover his behind. He keeps his hands there as he waddles quickly back to his position of hiding.
I recall sitting through many government sanctioned lessons, dreading every next minute except the last. As soon as that bell rang I was racing away.
Every moment I was there though, I was waiting for something interesting to happen. Art was one outlet. Art was a way to relieve the symptoms of boredom. I suppose it might have looked to most of the teachers as if I was taking notes.
One time I drew one of my teachers while he was lecturing and pacing. He started wandering around the classroom without me noticing. It wasn’t long before he was looking over my shoulder watching me draw him. I was surprised when I saw him and of course I thought I would get in trouble, but I must have done an okay job at capturing his likeness because he just nodded and continued lecturing…and wandered away. He didn’t stop me, or yell at me, or confiscate my art.
The reason I’m writing this post is because I’ve been commissioned recently to write an essay about…NOTHING.
I’m not kidding.
Writing it is as boring as Junior High, when you’ve been sucked in to that recessless world that isn’t as imaginative as Grade School or as authoritative as High School, it’s a vampiric in-between…a Middle School, if you like. Boredom is unavoidable in such a setting.
One thing to note about the immersion into boredom is how motivation takes a sharp dive. Increased boredom, decreased motivation. They’re directly inverse to each other. When interest is peaked, motivation climbs. When the interest factor is taken away, nothing starts to look pleasant. I should rephrase that. It’s not “nothing”, but “nothingness” which begins to beckon to you. If boredom is being in view of most everything, but barriers surround you and prevent you from getting to it, then nothingness would be access to none of it while barriers are lifted??? What a weird contradiction.
Anyway, I better get busy before my chance to get money for NOTHING runs out.
Xenosthesia.com 