Of the items in the most recent post, half were not considered food, even if some sickos want to say the other half was edible. Sure, you can eat anything if you have the time and inclination. You shouldn’t have the inclination to eat anything and everything.
Despite any odd takes on the short quiz from last time, here are the definitions of those items listed:
Ricotta is cheese; Regatta is a boat race.
Macaroni is a noodle; Macarena is a dance.
Limburger is also cheese; Lumbar is anatomical.
Chorizo is pork sausage; Camisole is a woman’s vest.
Fondant is used as icing; Fonzie is a character in Happy Days.
Muniere is a sauce; Moonrocks are brought back from the moon by astronauts.
Menudo is a tripe stew; Moondough is kind of like Playdoh.
Poi is a food made from roots; Hoi Polloi are people.
Gherkins are pickles; Gaston is a Disney character.
Basmati is rice; Bourgeoisie are people.
Samosas are meat pies; Symposiums are parties.
Khichdi is a rice dish; Chickadee is a bird (technically edible, but only if you’re starving, because they’re so small, like a starling).
Prego is spaghetti sauce; Yugo is a defunct car manufacturer.
Just for fun, here’s a little quiz you can give to your friends. In each of the below groups, one of the items is edible, the other is not. Can you guess what’s edible?
Along with some of those exercise routines I offered up in recent posts, I’d be telling only part of the story if I didn’t include some great foods for those who exercise. Keep in mind though, a lot of these foods end up on my list because they are easy to transport, and they remain mostly intact when biking.
Honestly, if I didn’t mention the great mealtime foods like lasagna, enchiladas, pizza, and tacos, I’d be giving you a lie of omission. The best dinners don’t generally travel well, and are sometimes too heavy in the gut to be good for pre-exercise, or post-exercise routines. They are good for you though, especially since they usually contain multiple food groups.
One interesting meal, which a lot of people dismiss as junk food, is macaroni and cheese. Did you know, a serving of macaroni and cheese has three times as much protein as a hot dog? Hot dogs are fun when you’re watching a baseball game. They aren’t great for regular consumption though. Good old mac ’n’ cheese has a little bit better ratio of protein to carbs than most actual junk foods, so don’t turn your nose up at it yet. Give it a second look.
As far as perfect ratios of proteins to carbs go, look no further than the epic combo of tortilla and refried beans. The bean burrito is one of the best foods for post-exercise protein pounding. Though it is not great for pre-race fuel, because the beans can make you feel bloated and heavy, it is ideal for after a difficult day of work and play.
One other meal which doesn’t travel easily but is full of the good stuff (and by good stuff, I mean good-for-you stuff) is cereal and milk. Sure, the type of cereal matters—think of anything not made of corn—but still, the mix of grains and dairy is ideal for an active lifestyle. Over the years I’ve heard people degrade the simple meal of milk on cereal, and nine times out of ten these people are not active. They don’t do anything that could be considered acitve and they dis on one of the easiest meals as if they were snooty dukes and duchesses in the royal court. Let them have their snoot, I say. You’ll live longer on a diet of oats than you will on a diet of mutton.
So far, I’ve mentioned the foods which don’t often travel well. Here are some which do:
Pop Tarts—oh yeah, these things will make you fat if you’re not active, it’s true, but if you are active, there are some good insta-carbs right here.
Granola bars—if you can score some hemp in your granola bars, you’ll be packing the perfect proteins.
Tuna—lots of body-builders know, fish has great protein power, and you don’t need a lot of it to satisfy your hunger.
Fruity yogurt—delicious and nutritious.
Dried fruit—so many varieties to choose from, and one of the easiest to carry anywhere.
Cottage cheese—mega-protein, and good with a variety of vegetables.
Boiled eggs—talk about protein, and they travel well, though not for very long. Eat them quick.
Smoothies—the best thing about these is you can put what you like in them.
Oatmeal—to make a strong horse, you feed it oats. Don’t you want to be as strong as a horse?
Fig bars—these are becoming more common and fortunately, come in a wide variety.
Fruit—the undried form of the fruit is tasty too.
Trail mix—like a granola bar, only much more loose; for best results, make your own.
String cheese—yes, millions of kids get this in their lunch, and you can too.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich—speaking of kids’ lunches, this is actually an ideal food to take into the wilderness, or to consume before pumping iron, or after a marathon swim.
Some words beg you to use them in ordinary daily life, even though they’re out-of-the-ordinary words. The question will enter your brain: “Should I use it?”
The following list is dedicated to such words.
Amphigory = writing which seems, at first glance, to have meaning, but is only nonsense.
Blatherskite = nonsense, or the person who speaks it.
Bumfodder = a document good only for wiping one’s bum.
Campist = one who pushes campy arts.
Campy = exaggerated, fake, or pretentious, especially when silly (e.g. Elvis impersonators, wannabe etymologists, and rap music).
Eyeservant = one who works only when another is watching.
Jargon = pretentious and obscure words, especially if the words are unnecessarily long and used categorically.
Kickshaw = food which looks tasty but leaves you hungry.
Latibulate = to hide in a corner.
Mata nuki = a Japanese term meaning a “crotch punch”, or a soccer goal scored after passing between someone’s legs.
In a previous article, I listed some reasons not to join a gym, such as: if you don’t use it, you’ve wasted your money; many gyms use harmful types and amounts of disinfectants; and, you can do the same workouts in your home.
This article is a continuation of that, only more specific.
In this one, I’d like to spell out a Leg Day workout you can do at home.
First of all, I highly recommend doing some cardio at the beginning of any exercise routine, followed by some stretching. Running in place for about 5 minutes is all that is necessary, though many people prefer up to 30 minutes of cardio. That’s fine too. Do what you prefer. The whole point of the run (which could be traded with any cardio exercise you enjoy, biking for instance) is to get the blood moving. Once the blood is moving and the muscles are warmed up, then stretching is much more effective.
After your initial warm-up and stretch, then you can do some strenuous exercise with less likelihood of causing yourself injury. That said: Here Lies The Ever-Loving Disclaimer. Because everyone is different, it’s always wise to consult a physician (get a checkup) before trying any exercise routine.
The following are some exercises I like to do at least twice a week, if not more.
Total Lunges: I prefer not to go for a walk when doing lunges, but instead do one leg at a time with many repetitions. Here’s how: left leg stays in one place, in a bent-knee partial squat; then step forward and backward with the right leg. The right leg lunges forward and back for ten repetitions. When your right leg lunges forward, it should only be a little farther than a normal step for you, then lunge up and back to land the same way behind as forward, so that you’re doing forward and reverse lunges. The stationary leg should remain bent at the knee through the Total Lunge. Trade legs and repeat the process once more with the other leg.
Squat Jumps: Squat low and rocket upward as high as you can for ten repetitions. Swimmers call these “Streamline Jumps” if they put their hands straight up overhead. You can put your hands wherever you want. Another way to do squat jumps is to get a pullup bar, squat jump to the pullup bar, do a pullup, drop down and repeat the squat jump. This adds some upper body work to your leg exercise, but do what you prefer. Still another way to add variety to this is, when you’re in the air, lift your legs up with you as high as you can.
Lateral Lunges: These actually do exercise a different muscle group than Total Lunges. The method is to start with feet shoulder-width apart, keep your left leg stationary while stepping to the side, then squat partially on that side. Lunge from that position and hop to repeat the process on the other side. Do twenty of these.
Single-leg Squats: Lift one leg, either in front of you, or behind, and perform a squat on the other leg. Do ten of these, then switch legs to do ten more with the other leg. This particular exercise helps with balance and strength.
Return to Total Lunges and repeat the whole workout as many times as it takes until you can’t walk. (Kidding, of course. I usually go through the whole routine three times.)
The great thing about this routine is that you can do it anywhere. You don’t need a gym. You don’t even need a large space, though for Squat Jumps you may need a tall ceiling if you’re doing them inside a building.
Xenosthesia.com 