Guitar Superheroes 2026

Some dare produce a list of the “greatest guitarists” without any sort of reasoning behind their choices. Since I can’t stand unquantified, I went ahead and made my own list with quantifiers. I figured it was all up to me since no other list out there can justify the positions of their picks. I had to make the ultimate list.

Creating this list wasn’t easy. Except for the number one spot. Anyone can look at the numbers, yes real numbers, and see who has the simple-truth quantifiable status as the greatest. I used amount of work and amount of influence as the main standards. Certainly skill should play a part in defining someone as “great”, but can anyone continue making more and more albums without any skill? Of course not.

  1. Joe Satriani—With over 25 albums, around 20 collaborative albums, and numerous students, there’s really no doubt that Joe Satriani surpasses all other guitarists. As a solo artist, he is the most prolific. As a teacher, he has taught many who have in turn influenced and taught others. For collaboration, he is unmatched. You could play the Kevin Bacon game in Satriani’s name, only for music instead of movies. Some of Satriani’s collaborations can be surprising. Spinal Tap? Crowded House? Deep Purple? Yes, all of the above. Joe Satriani is the standard to measure all other guitarists. To put it in perspective, some of his students include: Larry LaLonde (Primus), Kirk Hammett (Metallica), Alex Skolnick (Testament), and Steve Vai, among others. Of the four listed, Steve Vai and Kirk Hammett went on to influence thousands of other guitarists each.
  2. Jimi Hendrix—Despite only having four albums, he remains the name most people think of when they think of guitar superheroes, and for good reason. Jimi’s music is experimental. He was skilled beyond his years. Like a samurai to his sword, Jimi was to his guitar. He influenced many to pick up the guitar and play.
  3. Paul Gilbert—Racer X, Mr. Big, and his solo career with multiple, multiple albums. This dude has the skills of a guitar master and is prolific in the music arts.
  4. Joan Jett—Undoubtely influential. Her success didn’t only resonate with guitarists, or female guitarists, or female musicians. She even influenced entrepreneurs the world over with her entrepreneurial drive, with her refusal to accept rejection.
  5. Eddie Van Halen—Touted by Joe Satriani as the “greatest guitarist of my generation.” He was able to produce 12 albums and influenced multiple generations.
  6. Michael Anthony—People came to see Eddie and were amazed at Michael Anthony’s skill as well. Bass players of all styles are influenced by him. From Van Halen to Chickenfoot.
  7. Kim Thayil—Soundgarden. He is the sound and the power. ’Nuff said.
  8. Tom Morello—The same Tom Morello of the bands Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave.
  9. T-Bone Walker—The guy who influenced Jimi to play with his teeth or behind his head, and influenced Chuck Berry to bend the strings.
  10. Peggy Jones—“Lady Bo” or “The Queen Mother of Guitar” for sure persuades many who see her play lead guitar to try the instrument. Not only is she skilled, but the songs she played are still sweet-sounding today.
  11. Chuck Berry—The man who taught everyone to write songs about cars and girls and “coolerators”. He truly makes the guitar playing look and sound as easy as “ringing a bell”.
  12. George Harrison—The main man of the fab four. (For guitar, that is.)
  13. Robby Krieger—The Doors were one of the most influential bands ever due to their amazingly cinematic sound. The guitar sound was, of course, due to Robby Krieger.
  14. Dave Davies—The Kinks, a band who took Chuck Berry’s sound to new levels.
  15. Charlie Christian—An underrated musician by many who look from the outside of the music world. He was an originator of the guitar solo.
  16. Link Wray—Link is credited with the invention of the “power chord”. If you’ve ever heard the Batman theme song, you know his work.
  17. Bo Diddley—Bo is an amazing musician, with superb skills at song writing and guitar playing. His influence stretched into popular vernacular and the phrase, “You don’t know Diddley.”
  18. Jimmy Page—Him of the Stairway to Heaven aesthetic.
  19. Otis Taylor—A blues man of unparalleled skill.
  20. Johnny Cash—A country man of unparalleled skill.
  21. Elizabeth Cotten—An amazing left-handed guitarist, who taught herself and influenced many such as Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan.
  22. Alex Lifeson—The lead guitarist of the band Rush. The fact that Rush has fans to this day says something about him.
  23. David Gilmour—A guitarist of the band Pink Floyd, he has done tons of work for the music community.
  24. Michael Schenker—Scorpions, UFO, Michael Schenker Group. He takes it above and beyond.
  25. Angus Young—The lead guitarist of a band called AC/DC. His style is epileptic, but apparently that appeals to the masses.
  26. Eric Clapton—A guitar guy’s guitar guy.
  27. Brian May—The guitarist of Queen. He is regarded by guitarists as an influence. Despite my aversion to his music, I have to respect his skill and apparent effect on others. This list is not a list of my faves, but quantifiably great guitarists.
  28. Joni Mitchell—Folk musician who encouraged the likes of Seal and Prince.
  29. Sister Rosetta Tharpe—She might get overlooked as a great guitarist because she played gospel music. People can be biased. I’m of the opinion that she played so well as to be an example of righteous shredding to many who followed.
  30. Wes Montgomery—Invented thumb picking, a style adopted by many.
  31. Vernon Reid—Another, like Joan Jett, whose skill is so great it affects those outside the music community. He has a world-class talent.
  32. Dave Grohl—The artist formerly known as the Nirvana drummer, picked up a guitar and influenced us all with the Foo Fighters and some work with Queens of the Stone Age.
  33. Dick Dale—He brought the sounds of his homeland to the beach and the beach echoed it to the world.
  34. Brian Setzer—Nobody ever listens to or sees Brian play without wanting to be just as cool as him.
  35. Yngwie Malmsteen—The guitar shredder who dared show how closely related heavy metal and classical music really are.
  36. Felicia Collins—She is famous for playing on the Late Show with David Letterman. Her skills have taken her far beyond late shows.
  37. Jack White—The “Midas Touch” guy. His hands are constantly on multiple projects.
  38. Ritchie Blackmore—Rainbow, Deep Purple.
  39. Glenn Tipton—Judas Priest. Similar to Brian May, in my eyes. He triggered the desire in many to pick up the guitar and play.
  40. Herman Li—A Dragon Force shredder who has impressive skills. Terribly influential right now.
  41. Pete Townshend—The Who is his band. He was often mimicked, but never matched.
  42. Chris Shiflett—From his beginnings with No Use For A Name and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, he moved on to the Foo Fighters.
  43. John Lennon—He who put his stamp upon the world through his band the Beatles.
  44. Paul McCartney—With John Lennon, he made a sound heard round the world.
  45. Alex Skolnick—Taught by Joe, he played in Testament and has done loads of solo stuff.
  46. Kristy Wallace (Poison Ivy of the Cramps)—Has raised the bar on how much music can be written and played in a lifetime. The Cramps were around from 1976 to 2009. She played lead and bass guitar.
  47. Keith Richards—Of the Rolling Stones, prolific and influential. Check and check.
  48. Dickey Betts—Allman Brothers guitarist who is said to have had an effect on the direction of music as we know it because of his brilliant guitar work.
  49. Geddy Lee—Rush bassist. The outstanding stand out, yes they do.
  50. Carlos Santana—What list of guitarists is complete without Santana? His melodies are pristine. 25 studio albums! What!?
  51. Tim Farriss—INXS is internationally known because of him. 12 albums.
  52. Mike McCready is the amazing guitarist of Pearl Jam, so why does everyone want to be like Vedder? Tell me.
  53. Shawn Lane—Has worked with Ringo Starr, Johnny Cash, Joe Walsh, to name only a few.
  54. Ross Childress—Collective Soul’s guitarist. He influenced every guitarist who didn’t want to just do grunge in the ‘90s.
  55. Orianthi—Worked with Prince, Michael Jackson, and Alice Cooper. She also has a solo career.
  56. Billy Duffy—The guitarist for The Cult. Amazing skill makes him a guitar superhero.
  57. Suzi Gardner—Nobody rocks like L7. They spawned the Grrrl movement. Highly influential.
  58. Donita Sparks—Nobody rocks like L7. She influenced the Grrrl movement.
  59. Dave Mustaine—His band Megadeth is still in operation after many years. He was the driving force behind other bands. He has undoubtedly influenced many bands both great and small. 15 albums.
  60. Tommy Victor—The lead guitarist and vocalist of Prong. 12 albums and still going strong. Bam!
  61. Jerry Cantrell—Of Alice In Chains fame, Jerry has a huge following.
  62. Bernard Sumner—The guitarist of New Order and Joy Division.
  63. Johnny Marr—The Smiths is his original band. He has skills matched by few.
  64. William Reid—The Jesus and Mary Chain may have borrowed some tricks from Hendrix, but they’ve also moved a future generation.
  65. Larry LaLonde—Taught by Joe, his main band is Primus.
  66. Vicki Peterson—The Bangles was her outlet. She is revered by many.
  67. Flea—Often mimicked bassist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Real name: Michael Peter Balzary.
  68. Buddy Guy—So many on this list were influenced by Buddy’s blues style.
  69. Eric Johnson—Award-winning guitarist with a wide range of styles.
  70. Bruce Wingate—The originator of speed.
  71. Jack Steeples—If there was no Adrenalin O.D, would there be any thrash metal at all?
  72. Kristin Hersh—Guitarist of Throwing Muses for 10 albums. College radio is in her debt for that. She also has 11 solo albums.
  73. Wendy Melvoin—Worked with and possibly influenced Prince. Why is her name not more well-known?
  74. Marty Friedman—Worked with Jason Becker on many projects.
  75. Jason Becker—Worked with Marty Friedman on many projects.
  76. Melissa Etheridge—The woman who could do it all, according to guitarists everywhere. She can play, she can sing, and she writes her own tunes.
  77. Shuggie Otis—Plays the blues like a cat out in the rain.
  78. Steve Vai—Plays the guitar with virtuosity.
  79. Denny Laine—The bands Wings and the Moody Blues would have been lesser things without him.
  80. Jack Johnson—Mellow music king, Jack Johnson has spawned an interest in acoustic art.
  81. Mark Knopfler—A legend among guitar players. He has worked with Bob Dylan, Tina Turner, and many others.
  82. Dean Roland—A Collective Soul guitarist. They busted through the grunge curtain right in the middle of it. Platinum selling albums.
  83. Jesse Triplett—A Collective Soul guitarist. With Dean Roland, he made waves. 10 albums.
  84. Jonny Greenwood—From Radiohead, he’s got a fair following.
  85. Alan Jackson—With loads of albums under his belt, this guitar-playing, vocal-crooning, star has 16 albums to his name.
  86. The Edge—U2’s favorite guitarist, not to mention many other’s.
  87. Mark Tremonti—Creed, Alter Bridge, a guitarist who has greater influence than he knows.
  88. Tony MacAlpine—13 albums, 5 bands, makes for a most persuasive place among those on this list.
  89. Steve Albini—Of Big Black and Shellac, he is credited with encouraging and influencing many bands.
  90. Joe Walsh—Multiple bands (Eagles, solo) and prolific work.
  91. Kirk Hammett—Of Metallica fame, he is a major influence.
  92. Mick Jones—The Clash guitarist who influenced Tom Morello, countless punk bands, and many others.
  93. Joe Strummer—Is said to be the heart of The Clash.
  94. Stevie Ray Vaughan—One highly artistic influencer.
  95. Robert Johnson—Played the blues for everyone.
  96. Jeff Beck—Yardbirds, The Jeff Beck Group. He’s been on people’s minds and on their turntables for generations.
  97. Vinnie Moore—Played with UFO, Alice Cooper, and Dio. 
  98. Billy Gibbons—Of ZZ Top, he convinced people to pick up the guitar and grow facial hair.
  99. Cat Stevens—A mad artist who changed his name many times, but never changed his guitar style.
  100. Chet Atkins—Credited by his peers as one of the most influential guitarists in country music.

How to play Sudoku Dungeons

The object is to survive the entire puzzle grid. Start at the top left corner and work your way down to the bottom right corner by going back and forth, left and right, as you reach each side. In other words, travel left to right on the first row, then go right to left on the second row, and left to right again on the third row, repeating this pattern all the way down. If done properly on a 9×9 sudoku, you should travel through every square and end at the bottom right corner.

Items you will need to play: A pen or a pencil, a set of dungeon dice, and a sudoku grid.

Start with 10 HP (hit points) and 2 XP (experience points).

Along the way, you can trade 5 XP for 1 HP, as needed.

Blank spaces = +1 XP each, as you land on them.

The numbers 1 through 9 represent weapons, shields, foes or traps. To determine what a number represents, roll the octahedron (8-sided die).

1 and 2 = weapon.

3 and 4 = shield.

5 and 6 = foe.

7 and 8 = trap.

Let the number (1-9) within the square be the HP, or strength of the weapon, shield, foe or trap.

For weapons, shields, and foes, roll a 20-sided die (icosahedron) to determine what it is.

1-7 = knife (weapon), bracer (shield), or gremlin (foe).

8-14 = short sword (weapon), target (shield), or gorgon (foe).

15-20 = battle axe (weapon), pavise (shield), or dragon (foe).

If you fall in a trap however, roll the 6 sided die (a.k.a. cube). Even numbers—you escape undamaged. Odd numbers—the trap does its damage—subtract the number in the square from your total HP. Gain 1 XP for escaping.

To battle a foe, trade HP straight across, one for one, using shield, weapon, and personal HP as you desire. Once all the HP is depleted, the game is over for that object/player. For instance, if you had a bracer with 5 HP, and were battling a gremlin of 5 HP, the shield and the gremlin would cancel each other.

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Happy New Robot Year!

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The new lunar year starts on the 17th and, according to the Chinese Zodiac, it’s the year of the robot horse. Where’s yours? Do you have a robot horse? Do you even have a robot?

If not, it’s time you started asking for one. How else are you going to get your own robot? Certainly not by sitting there quietly. Go to your nearest market that seems likely to sell robots and demand that they start putting them in stock. The more people who make this demand, the more likely we are to get robots everywhere.

We need robot horses. We need robot dogs. We need robot cats, for sure, because we could program them to actually do things for people (I mean, of course, besides the obvious benefit of mousers, who keep the mouse population in check).

Thank you, mouse-catching cats!

Speaking of mice, it might be a good idea to invent a robot mouse which would zip around the floor to teach cats, real cats, to chase after mice. Any cats unclear on the concept could be trained to get up and give chase, instead of giving up the chase. We could invent a fake mouse hole for the robot mouse to dive into and get away from the cat. That would preserve our robot mouse and encourage the cat to try harder.

All of this would be educational for the cat and entertaining for the rest of us.

Cats, dogs, mice, and horses are not the limit. There are many other animals. Choose your own favorite. What kind of animal would you like to see as a robot?

10 Greatest U.S. Presidents

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U.S. Presidents wax and wane in popularity over the years. Once a president gets in the top ten, though, they tend to stay there. Take the number one spot, for instance. Abraham Lincoln has occupied that spot for over fifty years. That doesn’t mean others can’t get there. It’s just amazing that he is incumbent for the top of the top ten. It’s amazing, but not unbelievable. His occupation of the spot as the most popular U.S. President is for good reason. He was the one who finally made America free. The country was only holding that ideal in principle rather than in practice until Lincoln proclaimed that everyone was to be free.

Because of his popularity in reality, he’s also gained popularity in pop culture, gaining a legend status in comic books, novels, and films. He’s Honest Abe. He’s a vampire hunter. His profile is on the penny, which was recently discontinued, but not to worry, his face is still on the 5$ bill. He’s a righteous dude, and a towering giant. These things all make him legend, and of course increase his popularity.

John F. Kennedy, sometimes referred to as only JFK, had a short stint in the presidency. It was long enough to endear people to him. Everyone loves a mystery. His was potentially the most mysterious of all presidencies. People love him because he was taken from them.

George, number three on the list, is our fierce first president, a warrior of a man, who helped birth and raise the country. He’s known as a forefather and General George Washington.

Of the others, there are obvious reasons why they are popular with the masses, and not so obvious reasons. Some were wartime presidents. Some were presidents when monumental events in history happened. The monumental events make them more memorable. The following list shows the order of the most popular U.S. presidents.

  1. Abraham Lincoln
  2. John F. Kennedy
  3. George Washington
  4. Barack Obama
  5. Theodore Roosevelt
  6. Ronald Reagan
  7. Franklin D. Roosevelt
  8. Thomas Jefferson
  9. Harry S. Truman
  10. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Creepy Creatures

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This week’s brain trip comes from the mind of my odd friend Percival Popadakoulis, who is obsessed with mythical creatures. We all know about the Loch Ness monster and Bigfoot, and if you spoke with Percy, you might learn new facts about even those commonly-known creatures or you might not. The great thing about him, though, is that he doesn’t stop at lesser-known facts about commonly-known creatures. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of the weirdest mythical creatures. I say “mythical” because I have to admit I’m a skeptic. I usually love to hear about sightings, though I don’t believe every story. The stories Percy tells are completely off the farm. At times these stories are creepy, and at other times they are totally frightening. With that warning, you can decide to either read on or not. You decide.

One of the creepiest, weirdest stories told are of the Ahool. This is a flying creature with a massive wingspan. It has been sighted by multiple people over the years, but most of all—heard—by multiple people over the years. Its name comes from the sound it makes. Descriptions range from a winged gorilla to a giant bat.

Another one, which I don’t find so weird, is the story of the Menehune. These creatures seem more possible than most. They are supposedly a race of tiny people who lived exclusively in Hawaii. Their size is reportedly no more than 3 feet tall. Giants have been recorded throughout history, so why not tiny people? These particular people, unlike the warrior Goliath of history, were hard workers. The Menehune would work overnight and build things which the Hawaiian people found when they woke up in the morning. This is part of their legend because the Hawaiian people would say the work was magical. Kind of like the elves who help Santa? Hmmm.

As far as frightening mythical creatures go, I feel like the scariest one is the Hidebehind. It is said to stalk lone travelers in the forest by lurking through the trees and sneaking up on their prey. Incredibly thin and tall, this predator can hide behind trees, making it difficult to see or photograph. It has been blamed for loggers who’ve disappeared in the Great Lake area of the U.S. for many years. Also, according to the legend, the Hidebehind can be thwarted by the smell of alcohol. Descriptions of the Hidebehind are incomplete, but to me, that only makes it more creepy.

The Slide-Rock Bolter is perhaps the strangest thing out of anyone’s imagination. It has been reported to cause rockslides. The creature has been described as a large whale-like thing with hooks for hands. It slides down the rockslide to grab its victim and climb back up the steep mountain with its hooks.