Tobymac vs. Duran Duran

It may be no secret that I love music. We all do, don’t we?

Music keeps us sane during the dull moments of a day. Music propels us through exercise routines. Music gives us a reason to pretend we’re fantastic singers when we’re alone.

It also gives us emotional stimuli. That’s a fancy way of saying we feel something when we hear different styles of music. For some, the emotion of a danceable song is exhilaration. For others, the same dance song will only generate raised spirits, or the beginning of exhilaration.

A new song I heard recently gives people a sense of loss. Sadness for someone they miss, I suppose.

I didn’t get that feeling when I heard it. It just sounded like another Christmas song to me, and this time of year is when you hear a LOT of those. Not that I’m opposed to hearing lots of different, even obscure, Christmas songs (most of what I’ve heard this year are the obscure ones) but I feel like the consumerism machine is turned up to eleven when there’s Christmas music everywhere you go. Regardless of the machine, I have got to tell you about this song I heard. It’s called “Christmas Hits Different.”

And before I give the wrong impression here, I have to say my intention is not to discredit Tobymac. He has a musical soul, and his collaborative work is amazing. For instance, the song “Promised Land” with Sheryl Crow is positively astounding.

The problem I found with “Christmas Hits Different” is there’s a melody in there that struck me as too familiar. I was thinking, “What song is that? I’m sure I’ve heard it before.”

So I started humming it to myself. Some of my friends were saying, “Just hum it to Siri,” or, “Just hum it to Google.”

Yeah, I like to figure things out on my own. I hummed that familiar part for a while until I realized there should be some “…doo doo doo, doo doo doo…” in there after the melody. Then I knew I was on the right track. Soon I realized I should listen to some Duran Duran. I haven’t heard their stuff in years. Why did I remember part of a melody from one of their songs? I’ll have to figure that out later.

So to finish off my detective work, I ran YouTube and brought up two browser pages. On one, I had Tobymac’s “Christmas Hits Different.” On the other, I had Duran Duran, and soon I solved the case. It is, without a doubt, “Hungry Like The Wolf” which carries that particular melody.

The next questions, of course, are: Does Duran Duran know about this? Did Tobymac ask them if he could use a piece of their song? I don’t know yet. And probably you don’t either.

Let’s race to find out. Shall we?

Ready, set, go!

Boosting Creativity

One method I use to boost creativity is to challenge myself to write 42 lines in 42 minutes. There isn’t any sort of limit on subject matter, or how lines are written. Punctuation, grammar, and even style are unnecessary. The only limit is the time to write out these 42 one-liners: one minute each, though definitely even that is malleable since some lines take less time to write and others get instant revision. Often one line encourages another, so if one line ends up being two, that’s perfectly fine.

Here’s how this particular creative exercise might look:

42 jellyfish in 42 minutes—here comes the tide again.

Sometimes I wish I could type 4,000 words a minute. Other times I’m more sensible.

Does anyone want to think any more?

Make goals with plans to accomplish them.

Does everyone blow loose bits of toilet paper away from themselves when sitting on the toilet?

Float like an ex-girlfriend. Sting like a memory of a kiss.

Couldn’t thaw out anything meatier than a half pounder?

What’s your secret identity name?

Nothing can stop you—if your ego is a rhino, your legs are pistons, and your blood is mercury.

Grandmas know when the timing is right for cookies.

How am I going to mow the yard? With a track hoe.

Slightly different time zone, same grouchy attitude.

Purple isn’t a color, it’s a flavor. You know what flavor it is.

If you’re only missing one parent, are you half an orphan?

There are people I know who could play the role of Snake Eyes.

Star Trek or Star Wars? Why not both?

Seventeen has the same number of syllables as forty-two.

If you wash before bed, you keep your bed clean.

If you turn your underwear inside out on the second day, you don’t keep anything clean.

Helicopters don’t have to be noisy, but they’re more fun if they are.

Drifting is a skill tire manufacturers wish more people had.

I spelled it Stare Trek. That’s a new spin on it. The universe is in your eyes.

Selective listening is what many religious people do.

Haters got business with everyone else’s but not their own.

Are you ready for the weekend? Kosher recreation.

What makes a hot dog hot, when most of the time it’s not?

Which is better, forks or knives? What if they’re plastic? Does your answer change?

Motorcycles were like e-bikes long ago: a way to get around without your own power.

Florida gators are not as tough as Alaska gators. It’s proven.

Honda pilots are not the same as Honda Pilots.

I broke one of those once.

Jagermeister, or Jaegermeister? Does it matter?

Drops are just cookies. Unless they’re raindrops.

Freaky lengths of white, which tickle your nose when you least expect it: spider webs.

Baseball greats and baseball legends. On my to-meet list.

Gargantuan tongues must make it hard to speak. Gargling definitely does.

Crass morningstar swingers.

Crass-backwards is more accurate.

38 ways to twist a system out of the norm.

Tales fall short if they’re told without forethought.

Who cares about upstarts? They do.

Blessed be the name of…

Silence is a weapon? Dubious offense.

Humans Make Assumptions

The wonderful and insightful Tony Robbins made the observation that people are either auditory in their focus or visual. It’s possible to discover which one someone is by their word choice. Does the person say, “I hear you,” or do they say, “I see what you’re saying”? If you tell them to go left, do they say, “Sounds like you want me to go left,” or is it, “Looks like you want me to go left”?

We learn by watching, or listening, and sometimes both. In school we see what the teacher is writing on the board, but we also hear the lecture.

It’s a funny profundity that we learn while listening, but we don’t learn while talking. It means the person listening is learning from someone who isn’t learning or listening.

Not always, of course. There’s no absolute in this.

Have you ever heard someone tell you something is impossible and then tried to find a way to make that “impossible” thing happen?

If so, you were fighting against an assumption.

Humans do it all the time. Humans make assumptions.

Think of a doctor. Not only a doctor, a scientist. Not only that but a scientist doctor who likes to play football. Now tell me you didn’t assume that this scientist doctor who plays football is a male personage. If you did, you might want to check yourself for other assumptions. What other assumptions do you make regularly?

How did you learn that doctors are exclusively male? Maybe you didn’t learn exclusivity. Maybe you only learned to assume that MOST doctors are male. It’s not true, thank God. Could you imagine how messed up we might be if only men could be doctors?

How about football players? What if the majority of them were male? Again, it’s a good thing females play the sport of kicking a round ball too. (Wink, wink, elbow nudge. Did you think of another kind of “football”? Another assumption?)

And scientists? Well, here’s where humans make even more assumptions. When you think of a scientist, do you also think of someone who has been to university and has a smattering of diplomas displayed on a wall somewhere? Those would be assumptions based on stereotypes.

How do you define a scientist? What are the requirements to be one? The longer you think about it, the more stereotypes you’ll strip away, and the closer you’ll come to the truth.

Is a long, white coat required? No. Specific clothing doesn’t make someone a scientist.

Is college attendance required? No. The world has a long history of people making scientific discoveries, without ever setting body, foot, or even toe inside a college.

Is a scientific discovery a requirement? This question is tricky. Certainly applying oneself to discovery, or in other words, doing the work, is necessary, but is the recognition of something as a scientific discovery required to call someone a scientist? Is work ethic enough? For instance, if Thomas Edison ran all of his experiments on how to make a light bulb except for the final one that worked, would you call him a scientist? What if someone else discovered how to make a light bulb before him, yet he still did the work? Would he have still been considered a scientist? What if fourteen people all tried to discover how to make a light bulb and never accomplished the task? Would they all be considered scientists? Or would none of them?

Here’re more questions: Do you have to use big words to be a scientist? Do you have to be a word nerd? Do you have to be a nerd? Do you have to have a love of books? Do you have to have a love of learning? Do you need to be curious? Is lack of social skills an attribute? Is lack of an assumptive nature an attribute?

If that last one is true, then it sounds like no humans are scientists.

Candy Critic (Hallowe’en Edition)

Smarties: A small pack of discs, they’re challenging to open without losing any, but once you get the skill, you’ll consider yourself a smarty.

Dum Dums: Small suckers with a large selection of flavors, Dum Dums also come in small packs, or monstrously large packs with like a thousand suckers. The monster size packs, of course, are for you to share, to pass around. Don’t eat them all yourself, unless you aren’t so fond of having teeth.

PayDay: Caramel and peanuts are a natural combo. You can’t go wrong with a pocket full of PayDay. If you get one of these, you’ll know it really is—PayDay.

Twix: Caramel and cookie and chocolate (unless you get the peanut butter kind, which are equally delicious), you’re in for a treat, and there are two per package (unless you get the bite-size, but even then you lucked out) so you can share with your best friend. Hahaha! Kudos to anyone who can figure out who their best friend is. No, not those kind of Kudos.

M&M’s: You know you’re on Santa’s good list if you get a one pound bag of M&M’s on Halloween. Sure maybe your favorite is Peanut M&M’s, but also for sure you wouldn’t send back a bag of plain M&M’s with a scowl on your face. You’d be smiling under your mask with Peanut Butter M&M’s, Pretzel M&M’s, even the minty, red and white M&M’s that come out at Christmas.

Mounds: Chocolate and coconut is a delightful combination. If you live in a colder climate during October, like most of the world, you might like this because it feels like a vacation to a tropical place. Savor every last bite, you’re an Eskimo in Hawai’i.

Almond Joy: The nutty brother of Mounds, Almond Joys have a surprise almond on top. You might have wondered what that lump was…it’s an almond.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups: Impossible to open without getting teeny bits of chocolate on you, these are still scrumptious for eating. Take your time, or stack them and eat them like your the kid in Matilda eating a giant chocolate cake.

Nerds: The tiny boxes of tiny Nerds are some of the most fun candy. Who even cares about eating any of it, you can have as much fun sitting there shaking the box.

Kit Kat: Lighter than air, you won’t care that these are a low-calorie food until you’re an older Trick-or-treater. By the time you’re that old you’ll even consider cracking it in pieces and sharing it with someone else.

Snickers: Don’t be dismayed by the bite-size Snickers. They’re still a creamy, crunchy, chocolatey candy bar, only smaller.

Skittles: Some claim this to be the pinnacle of the candy category. They are delicious and come in a variety of fruit flavors. Purple=grape. Orange=orange. They come all mixed together in a bag. You can chew them together and make strange flavors, or eat select colors to savor a single flavor.

Twizzlers: Candy, or deadly weapon? It depends on who your friends are. Do they like to whip you with a mysteriously wet Twizzler? Your only option, of course, is to wet your own licorice whip. Or do you prefer strawberry whips? Chocolate or cherry whips, anyone?

Pixy Stix: This is the ultimate Hallowe’en candy. Why? Here’s why: It’s a paper straw, sealed at both ends, containing flavored sugar crystals. In keeping with all Hallowe’en traditions, you can open both ends, blow the sugar up in the air—and TAKE A SHOWER IN SUGAR!

You’re a hyperactive horror.

Happy Hallowe’en!

Candy Critic (Mystery Edition)

Some of the more mysterious candies are difficult to find, to eat, or to believe they even exist. Here are a few of those:

Mary Jane: Caramel candy with a feminine name. A Mary Jane (the candy kind) is hard, hard caramel. The lightly toasted flavor is nice though.

Slo Poke: Caramel candy by a different name. What does that name mean? I don’t know. A Slo Poke is chewy, that’s the main thing to know about this here…chewy…candy.

Whatchamacallit: Really just a standard candy bar, it has one of the strangest names in the candy business. When you’re a kid you never think of these things, but what was the marketing strategy for this?

Big League Chew: As seen in the movie Napoleon Dynamite. Big League Chew was a great way for a candy company to promote a) baseball b) chewing tobacco c) bubble gum or d) all of the above.

Sugar Daddy: Not very exciting because it’s simply caramel on a stick, yet there was a whole family. Apparently there was a Sugar Mama, and yes, Sugar Babies.

Now ’n’ Later: These are basically a Starburst knockoff, or was it the other way around?

Bit-o-Honey: A lozenge of chewy stuff, it doesn’t taste bad, but it’s difficult to know exactly what to do with it. If you chew it when it’s cold it will break your teeth. You can pop the whole thing in your mouth and suck on it, but that takes forever. You can suck on it while holding it, but then your fingers get sticky.

Necco: These are like oversized Smarties. They’re cool though, ‘cause they have a licorice flavored one among the others.

Airheads: Dumb name and candy that is just meh. If you’re wanting something with heads in the name, go for Lemonheads.

Skor: Cool name, but I expected it to be like medieval, or maybe like viking candy, or something. It’s a different candy *company’s version of the Butterfinger. Extremely hard toffee, coated with chocolate. (*Ferrara made Butterfinger, Hershey’s made Skor.)

Zirkus “Peanuts”: These have the brag of being the only candy with air quotes in the name. They are kind of wicked fun to eat, but I honestly have no idea what this substance is I just ate, it kind of reminds of—AAUGH! Hack, kaff, wheeze…death.

Only funnin’ ya! Ha! Did you think I was dead? From eating Zirkus “Peanuts”?

Well, with this next candy you really gotta be super careful. I’m talking about Jolly Ranchers. Fun name sure, say it out loud, “Jolly Rancher,” but if you got overzealous eating them, you could choke. The only redeeming goodness here would be if it was spit-lubed enough for you to cough it out. Life Savers supposedly have that hole in the middle so you can’t choke on them, so why don’t Jolly Ranchers have a hole?

Jolly Ranchers are almost as dangerous as Candy Necklaces.