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Year of the Robot

Forget everything you know about the zodiacs. It’s not the year of the tiger or the wolf, the yew tree or the Dodge Ram.

It’s the year of the robot.

Here’s a gigantic clue for the computer programmers of the world: WE, THE PEOPLE OF EARTH, DON’T WANT ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, WE WANT ROBOTS.

Robots are superior to AI. One reason for that superiority is because they don’t need AI. They, the robots, are like humans in this way: they don’t need AI. They (the robots again) only need relatively basic instructions. The instructions needed are those to help accomplish whatever task the robot was built to perform.

Move here. Turn there. Avoid obstacles. Pick up heavy things. Move things elsewhere. Start over.

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Of course, that sort of logic makes us think of factories and warehouses. These are the places where robots can be found already.

They are also found doing jobs which would otherwise put a human in a dangerous situation, such as bomb deactivation. That’s also a great place for robots. It’s also a place where robots have been already.

So, let’s talk about one place we absolutely need robots where they haven’t been utilized…yet. The perfect place for a robot is in Congress. First of all the recognizable benefits is we don’t have to pay them. Along those same lines is the fact that a robot would not kowtow to any lobbyist. A robot has no use for money, so it wouldn’t get bribed to vote one way or another. Sure we might be inclined to think a robot couldn’t take sides or vote the way the citizens would, especially the major party of the citizens the robot serves, but we would be thinking too deeply there. A robot with simple instructions would be far better prepared to serve a majority than any complex organism such as a human would. A more simple “brain” would be easier to regulate. With simple instructions for each robot representative, every individual person would easily detect a robot operating outside its set protocol.

Before we carry that to all the sections of the government, remember it would be no good to have a robot in a position where it (that fantastic robot) would be required to pass judgment on a human. So, the justice department is no place for a robot. We wouldn’t want robot judges or robot cops. We have to have people in those jobs because they might be able to exhibit some sympathy toward those they serve. A robot can’t sympathize.

Another place to have robots is wherever there is a bad smell. Plumbers and civil engineers have known this for years. They never send a human down into the sewers if a robot or a remote control rover is available. One super cool thing robots can do, which is like sniffing, but not quite the same, is they can detect the exact makeup of the air around them. If we were trying to find out who was dumping chemicals in the sewer system and the robot detected toluene, we might suspect any nearby paint manufacturers or distributors. If the robot detected boatloads of CO2, we might suspect any nearby coffee bean processing plants.

Call up your local AI and tell it, “Build me a robot.” Or call up your friend the computer programmer and tell him or her to put down the keyboard and pick up a wrench. Tell your friend to get cracking on making more robots. Let’s get robots that make robots, robots that fix robots, robots that fetch the mail and mow the lawn and pick up the dog doo doo, and of course, robots that look perfectly at home in Washington D.C.

One More Thing

If you didn’t think of the fabulous Jackie Chan Adventures cartoon when you read the title of this article, then you will do yourself a great favor by looking it up now. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

…….

Okay, so where did you find it? Were you able to at least get the idea of what it is? A fun show for kiddies? Yes. A fun cartoon for fans of Jackie Chan? You know it.

Well, the world is seriously wanting a talent like him back in the cinema-art machine. His cartoon wasn’t the only thing he did right. He had a prolific career making movies that put you on the edge of your seat. Watching Jackie Chan movies was especially intense knowing he did all of his own stunts. On some movies, as a treat at the end, he would even share the variety of do-overs he had while performing some of those stunts. He fell off a lot of things, got hit by objects he was swinging or kicking, and once or twice took a blow to the head unintentionally.

There were a few of his early movies in which he credited other people with doing some of his stunts. Not too many. He eventually created enough of a following that he could demand to be the one in the middle of all the action.

Some of his stunts, you just watch them in awe and say, “No way. How did he do that?”

Skills. The man has, and has had, skills. He showed how he could be lightning quick with a punch or a kick, acrobatic, and strong as a jungle cat.

We could say he followed in the footsteps of Bruce Lee, but Jackie would tell us he followed equally in the footsteps of Buster Keaton, an early film star who did comedy films with a physical element sometimes known as “slapstick comedy”.

The physical element may have been started by Keaton, but it was perfected by Chan.

A short list of some of my favorite Jackie Chan movies would definitely include:

1. The Forbidden Kingdom

2. The Legend of Drunken Master

3. Shanghai Noon

4. Who Am I?

And of course, you can’t ignore his voice work in the Kung Fu Panda movies or his own cartoon, Jackie Chan Adventures.

Looking for a comedy movie, an action movie, or both combined? You should do yourself a solid favor and check out some action-packed hilarity in a Jackie Chan movie or cartoon.

Last Year’s Resolutions

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Perfecting oneself is timeless. There are no start dates or end dates. There are only series and steps, moderations and milestones.

Whatever your goals were last year, if you feel you didn’t quite accomplish them, you can still aim for them in 2026. Recycle them, reuse them. The year 2026 isn’t even your limit. You can set almost any goal without a time limit. All long-term goals are accomplished through short-term goals.

Of course, The Anointed One, Jesus, knew this. He tells us to learn by the method of “line upon line, precept upon precept”, which means to take it all in small bites. Don’t try to be perfect in one day, or don’t try to learn the entire gospel in one session. Get there through daily repentance and attainable perfections.

We could insert a load of maxims here, such as: Don’t bite off more than you can chew–OR–Take it one day at a time. They may be cliches and overused, but they’re still valuable advice.

Consider the first one. If you bite off more than you can chew, you’ll end up spitting it all out. Metaphorically, it means you quit.

Dont quit.

There’s nothing in this life you can’t handle. That’s the double negative way of saying, “You have the ability to handle, to chew, to follow through, anything that comes your way.” Of course, depending on the size of the problem or the obstacle, you may have to use some sense. You may have to take smaller bites.

It’s also possible what you really need is to redefine what you want.

There are so many people this time of year who want to “lose weight”. A beneficial notion is to redefine that desire. Since fat is more voluminous per ounce than muscle, the better goal could be to lose volume.

“I want to shrink my waistline,” may be a better mantra for those wanting to lose volume.

It’s also possible that those who want to “lose weight” could be thinking they want to create a healthier lifestyle with regular exercise and good eating habits. In that case, you have the beautiful mingling of two short-term goals to achieve a long-term goal.

Those short-term goals could easily be broken up into small steps. “Regular exercise” can be shortened to monthly goals, separated into weekly chunks, and even measured daily. “Good eating habits” could even be measured per meal, and all the snacks in between, or the elimination of said snacks.

Whichever way you decide to change your perception, redefine your desire, or measure your progress, please remember to not quit. You’re worth every bit of this year’s and last year’s resolutions.

Great Dog Names

Having a pet dog can mean days of entertainment, exercise, responsibility, feeding, and yes, a bit of cleanup.

But what do you name your dog? That can be one of the hardest questions you’ll have to ask yourself.

You can always go with the standards: Spot, Rusty, or Rex.

Or you can name your pet the same as some famous people have named their dogs. One of the best examples of a famous dog name is Cheeseburger, the name Jimmy Buffett gave his pet dog.

John Wayne’s nickname, The Duke, came from his childhood pet being called Big Duke by local firefighters. John was actually called Little Duke by the same guys.

Less original, and quite frankly just as dull as the standard names, are the movie star dog names like Toto, Lassie, and Hooch.

Although Laika is a less-well-known name, it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. (This was the name of the dog which was sent to orbit the Earth.)

Some fun pet dog names to start trending:

Fight–you could totally have fun yelling “Fight!” to call for your dog.
Bigfoot–even more fun to yell.
Bossman–or you could just name your dog after your boss? Would the boss ever know?
Barfy–wait, isn’t that a famous dog name?
Taylor–so NOT after anyone famous, right?
Grits–could be good, except it rhymes with nits.
Nacho–another food related name. Or is it after the hilarious movie Nacho Libre?
Squeaker–for a small dog, right? Even funnier if it’s a big dog name.
Dynamite–Dyna, for short.
Scuba Dude–sounds like another dog name, but it isn’t.

If these suggestions don’t sound like the right name for your dog, you can always try the trick of naming your pet after your favorite food/color/aunt/uncle.

“What? Uncle Butch, it’s totally a coincidence that my dog is named Butch too.”