Xenosthesia.com

Thanksgiving Games For Introverts

You’re an introvert. You don’t feel too thrilled with the idea of gathering with one hundred and seventeen people in a relative’s too-small house—a house which seems to get smaller every year. They’ll gather and give thanks to God. You’ll gather with them and give thanks to the same God, for different things.

While the kiddies are playing games like “Traffic Yam” and “Marshmallow Big Toe Squeeze”, you’ll be sitting as far from anyone who might invite you to join the frivolities. You’ll say no thousands of times to Uncle Bossy, and Uncle Bossy will ask you the three thousandth time why you don’t want to join in the party. You’ll ask him the same question, complete with air quotes around the word party. He’ll say he’s the one setting up the games so he can’t join in.

Right.

Well, this year, instead of waiting for Uncle Bossy to pester you for being a wallflower, just tell him you’re playing one of the following games. If you’re bold enough, you can ask him to join you.

The Imagining the Shapes of Other People’s Skulls game: This one is easy to play in any venue. You can invite others to play, but if they’re like Uncle Bossy, you may want to encourage them to play without talking. It’s a quiet game. Simply sit and stare at someone long enough until you can envision the asymetrical shape of the skull beneath the skin. Once you’ve got someone figured out completely, move on to the next.
The Road Trip game: A lot more difficult. What you have to do is imagine you’re somewhere else. It’s very difficult to do in a room full of loud people. Even more difficult is to make the scenery in your imagination change, as if you were on a road trip. Again, you can invite others to join you on your road trip, but you might want to help them understand since it’s an individual game, you won’t necessarily be on the same trip.
The Identify That Smell game: This one can be done by anyone. You sit in a room full of people, close your eyes, and, yes, try to identify who is nearby solely through your nostrils. Some people may not be able to control themselves enough to keep quiet, and so you’ll identify them quicker than others because of their words; however, if everyone is able to quiet down, this game can be very challenging. The only downside is when the smells identifying someone are bodily unpleasant.
The Music In My Head game: A game with no need for other participants, I’m told this is one many introverts play. Instead of paying any attention at all to the people nearby, the player tries to hear a whole song inside their head without the use of any device. Some people cheat and use headphones or a lyric web page. If you’re a serious contender though, you can hear a song without any external prompts. For an extra advantage, practice it before you tell anyone what you’re doing.

Realistic Reviews

If book promotion quotes were more realistic:

I wish they let me write a book report on this in school. ~James H., writer of airline pamphlets

Wanted so bad to use the word fascinating, but the more I thought about it, it just didn’t seem fitting. ~Robyn S., writer of novels

Man! This book is thick! ~Brit B., friend of the writer

Original, page-turning, captures your interest, won’t let go, keeps you on the edge of your seat, and it’s original. ~Professional, paid-for reviews

I don’t really care for the story much. I only wanted to promote my own book: Chronicles of the Wonder Tales of Memoirs of Me. ~Daria H., author of Chronicles of the Wonder Tales of Memoirs of Me

Really helps keep my pages down on my other book so I can finish my sudoku. ~Anonymous

Moves along nicely. ~Dr. Suzi Uzi, writer of Everyone Wants to Show You Their Colon: How to Develop a Filter for Unwanted Media

The government doesn’t want you to read this book. ~Sen. Calfskin

Read it once. Read it twice. Read it three times. Must read it again. ~Fred N., writer of I’ll Get You, Eventually

Has a humor firmly planted between Cracked and Mad. ~Al Y., reader of satire, lover of lampoons

Way longer than a tweet. ~T. Kirk

Driving

Cutting someone off.

Could this be the most offensive action a driver can do on the road?

I mean, other than actually causing a collision, is cutting another driver off the worst offense? Do you judge every other driver by the offensiveness of their driving technic? And if so, do you judge them by how close they are to you and your vehicle when they merge?

Even if you don’t, I do.

I judge people’s driving skills by their ability to make me want to cause the accident they were about to commit. Don’t ask why. I have an undying curiosity. It can’t be stopped.

Forever, I will be wondering: “What would it look like if they were driving that close and I wasn’t paying attention and instead of braking I just rammed into them?”

It’s a good thing I value my vehicle or there’d be mayhem on the highways. I could imagine having a less-than-appealing automobile and driving it like an idiot so at every lane change and every merge point I was making some other driver angry enough to play crash-up derby with me. In fact, it’s a good thing most people value their vehicles, or there would probably be a lot of that going on out there.

Could you imagine all the stressful and impatient moments pushing a driver to do the crazy driving things like crashing through barriers, driving off the road, and/or plowing through a flock of sheep?

An impatient moment. A gas pedal. A slowly meandering sheep. All of these mix too well. If a low-quality vehicle was thrown in, then the accident would be inevitable. There’s no doubt in my mind.

Low auto esteem is a real phenomenon. It happens all the time, on every roadway in the world. The good thing though, is that it’s not too widespread. If it was more common, we’d have massive twenty-car pile-ups. We’d have crash-up derby. We’d have, well, mayhem on the highways.

Writing Advice: People Don’t Arc

There’s a sort of misunderstanding in the writing world which has become a myth.

The myth is that a character must have an arc.

Before I get too deep into why this is a myth, let’s define what it means to “have an arc.”

In case you’re new to writing, the “arc” that some advisors to writing are speaking of is the imaginary curvature of the character’s character. Confusing, if you think of it like that. But I’m simplifying the concept a bit. Essentially, some people in the writing world believe a character should start in a story with a single, simple problem.

There are more hindrances to this idea than there are benefits.

For one, people don’t have single, simplistic arcs in their lives. Have you ever done any people-watching? People don’t speak in linear fashion, they don’t walk in a straight line, they don’t think about one problem at a time, they don’t worry about only one thing, they don’t even stand straight most of the time.

The majority don’t even try to solve their own problems. They look for someone else to do it.

Now, don’t go thinking there are no arcs whatsoever in writing fiction. There are. The story can and should have an arc. A plot, or a throughline if you like, can follow the standardized path of an “arc” very smartly when constructed right. Even though it’s unrealistic to write characters with an arcing maturity path, the story as a whole could benefit from being fit into the pattern. It could begin rather calamitous, take the multifaceted character through a load of learning experiences, press them with conflict, require solutions, then record how the character might have matured from all of the above in such a way that they are totally impressive, and all of that with one plot arc.

Here, too, I should add, the character does not need to mature in every way through a story. Even though the plot problem is resolved at the end of a good story, the character’s multiple flaws or problems should not be totally or completely resolved.

If you took a normal person and followed them through an arc in their lives, then cataloged it, reported it in fiction fashion, you could end up with the shortest story ever, or the longest. Consider the time it takes most men to mature from boys and you’ll understand what I mean. Ever heard a really old man tell a fart joke? He’s eighty years old and his arc has yet to begin. At least for that portion of his life, for that part of his development. Maybe the same man could look a large-breasted woman in the eyes when he talks to her. The arc is complete for his respect of breasts, perhaps. So in one case, he has completed the arc, and in another, he has not.

You might be thinking, “I thought you said, ‘People don’t arc.'” You are so right, but doesn’t the above example show that people have multifaceted problems? Multiple problems require a variety of solutions. Some are solved readily, others take years. People in reality don’t have single arcs, they have many. Trying to pinpoint one and create a character from it usually (not always) makes a character unappealing. A character with only one arc in their lives isn’t only unrealistic, but unbelievable too. Readers understand this while reading. Audiences understand this while watching. A writer should understand it while writing and avoid making characters too simple.

One of the jobs of a writer is to diminish the doubt of a reader. If the characters a writer creates are too unbelievable, the reader will have overt doubts about the characters.

Job failure.

However, creating characters with multiple concerns, multiple troubles, a variety of internal flaws to overcome, will diminish the doubt.

Job success.

Smog

Smog is a wonderful word. Not used nearly enough, I’d say.

There are a number of personages in my life who have started using the term inversion. The people I know who use this word aren’t even meteorologists.

Inversion is a meteorological term meaning the atmosphere is layered. Certain portions of the layers are warm, others cold, and the layers don’t mingle so there’s no movement. When there’s no movement, all of the pollutants we humans produce stick around right here where we live. The term to refer to this layered, non-mixing atmosphere is inversion.

Inversion, sure. It means what it means, though. It doesn’t mean the stuff that collects when the inversion happens, even though the people who I’ve heard using the word lately are using it as if it means the smog.

Why would anyone in their right mind trade in a great word like smog for a technical term with only meteorological uses?

So you’re aware, smog isn’t only one word, it’s two smashed together.

Smoke + Fog.

Smoky fog? Like fog, only smoke? Smog.

The word smog pops up in poems and music. Poets and musicians get it. The word smog brings to life the imagery of sickly yellow air, careless industries pumping pollutants into the sky, and dystopic environments. It has the poetic qualities other words do not, even though some of the other words a person might use to define bad air have potential, such as: gauze, haze, or soup. But these words could be too light-hearted and fun, depending on how they’re used.

Despite the abhorrent way I feel about the actual substance of smog, the word is still my favorite way to label the stuff.

I’d take smog over inversion every time.