Now that we’ve all faltered once or twice in our attempts to get skinny again, I’m going to play devil’s advocate and list all the ice cream flavors there ever were. As a primer though, I have to admit, not all the names of ice cream flavors are here, since many of them don’t really describe the flavor. Realistically, Superman and Tootie Frootie are the same flavor (fruit flavoring, heavy on the lemon).
I’m eating my words, too, though I’m not eating the ice cream which has been flavored with tomatoes. Yes, someone has finally done gone and tried to prove botanists right by sticking tomatoes in ice cream. (Tomatoes still aren’t fruit in culinary terms, only botanical terms.) Oh well, I’ve eaten brownies made with black beans. Might as well try some ice cream with tomatoes in it. Could even have them together.
So now, before the ice cream melts, here are all the flavors you’ve ever wanted:
First let me tell you, before I criticize it and give you the wrong message, this book is worth reading.
Now let me tell you why it’s worth reading.
Mr. Eric Bishop (stage name Jamie Foxx) spells out some seriously valuable methods to being a great father, even a great parent as he relates much of his life in the book. So not only do you get the scoop on what it’s like to be him, but you get nuggets of wisdom about how not to mess up your children too bad, how to be there for them, and what children really want (your time and attention).
One of the saddest moments in the book, or in Jamie’s life, is when he’s waiting for his mom on Christmas, but I better not go into too much detail here, you need to read the book to know why he’s waiting for his mom. In contrast, and fortunately, there are many funny and happy moments, some of which involve his mom. He didn’t have a terrible life, even if many of his admitted wounds are still healing.
Jamie is a comedian from Texas, so we should expect some funny, right? Oh it’s there. At several points while reading his book, I laughed hard. People were looking at me like, “What is this guy doing?” and I’d just hold up the book so they could see it, and they’d nod. Oh, it’s that book by Jamie Foxx, of course. Yeah, they knew, and so do you, so go get it, read it and find out what’s so funny.
One of the minor failures in the book, according to me, is that he doesn’t talk about the Wayans. He drops other names like Marvin Gaye and Chadwick Boseman, but he barely even mentions his time on In Living Color. As far as I can find, there’s no biography of the Wayans brothers yet. The closest I could find is a book written by Damon Wayans called Red Hats (a fiction novel). Close enough, I reckon, so that’s what I’m reading next.
In Jamie’s book, Act Like You Got Some Sense, there’s a brilliant chapter which shows the weakness of the idiotic principle of “snitches get stitches”. It goes like this: first he teaches his children the idea, then one of the children wrecks part of his house, then he regrets teaching them because he really wants to know who wrecked his house but they won’t tell him. Comedy in the making, right there. Jamie doesn’t always fall so hard when he’s teaching his daughters, but in that instance it involved some other family members, so he had more than only two to look at as possible suspects. He found out how hard it is to do critical police work when no one around is being helpful.
One other thing that might turn a reader off is that there is a plethora of cussing throughout the book. If you’re not willing to add less-than Southern-hospitality words to your vocabulary, then you might want to skip Act Like You Got Some Sense. Actually, he dives into the idea of getting a better vocabulary when he relates a conversation he had with his daughter about a song containing the word bitch. His daughter asked him if she was one of those, and somehow let him know she wasn’t buying it even if anyone thought she was. Then he goes on to explain how he has empowered his daughters through sports, and teaching them acting, and how to play the piano. Exactly how it should be done. Good call, Jamie.
Regardless of whether you’re looking for parenting advice, or insights into the life of Jamie Foxx, or why he changed his name, or even just something funny to read, Act Like You Got Some Sense is a decent book to spend time reading.
Of the items in the most recent post, half were not considered food, even if some sickos want to say the other half was edible. Sure, you can eat anything if you have the time and inclination. You shouldn’t have the inclination to eat anything and everything.
Despite any odd takes on the short quiz from last time, here are the definitions of those items listed:
Ricotta is cheese; Regatta is a boat race.
Macaroni is a noodle; Macarena is a dance.
Limburger is also cheese; Lumbar is anatomical.
Chorizo is pork sausage; Camisole is a woman’s vest.
Fondant is used as icing; Fonzie is a character in Happy Days.
Muniere is a sauce; Moonrocks are brought back from the moon by astronauts.
Menudo is a tripe stew; Moondough is kind of like Playdoh.
Poi is a food made from roots; Hoi Polloi are people.
Gherkins are pickles; Gaston is a Disney character.
Basmati is rice; Bourgeoisie are people.
Samosas are meat pies; Symposiums are parties.
Khichdi is a rice dish; Chickadee is a bird (technically edible, but only if you’re starving, because they’re so small, like a starling).
Prego is spaghetti sauce; Yugo is a defunct car manufacturer.
Just for fun, here’s a little quiz you can give to your friends. In each of the below groups, one of the items is edible, the other is not. Can you guess what’s edible?
Along with some of those exercise routines I offered up in recent posts, I’d be telling only part of the story if I didn’t include some great foods for those who exercise. Keep in mind though, a lot of these foods end up on my list because they are easy to transport, and they remain mostly intact when biking.
Honestly, if I didn’t mention the great mealtime foods like lasagna, enchiladas, pizza, and tacos, I’d be giving you a lie of omission. The best dinners don’t generally travel well, and are sometimes too heavy in the gut to be good for pre-exercise, or post-exercise routines. They are good for you though, especially since they usually contain multiple food groups.
One interesting meal, which a lot of people dismiss as junk food, is macaroni and cheese. Did you know, a serving of macaroni and cheese has three times as much protein as a hot dog? Hot dogs are fun when you’re watching a baseball game. They aren’t great for regular consumption though. Good old mac ’n’ cheese has a little bit better ratio of protein to carbs than most actual junk foods, so don’t turn your nose up at it yet. Give it a second look.
As far as perfect ratios of proteins to carbs go, look no further than the epic combo of tortilla and refried beans. The bean burrito is one of the best foods for post-exercise protein pounding. Though it is not great for pre-race fuel, because the beans can make you feel bloated and heavy, it is ideal for after a difficult day of work and play.
One other meal which doesn’t travel easily but is full of the good stuff (and by good stuff, I mean good-for-you stuff) is cereal and milk. Sure, the type of cereal matters—think of anything not made of corn—but still, the mix of grains and dairy is ideal for an active lifestyle. Over the years I’ve heard people degrade the simple meal of milk on cereal, and nine times out of ten these people are not active. They don’t do anything that could be considered acitve and they dis on one of the easiest meals as if they were snooty dukes and duchesses in the royal court. Let them have their snoot, I say. You’ll live longer on a diet of oats than you will on a diet of mutton.
So far, I’ve mentioned the foods which don’t often travel well. Here are some which do:
Pop Tarts—oh yeah, these things will make you fat if you’re not active, it’s true, but if you are active, there are some good insta-carbs right here.
Granola bars—if you can score some hemp in your granola bars, you’ll be packing the perfect proteins.
Tuna—lots of body-builders know, fish has great protein power, and you don’t need a lot of it to satisfy your hunger.
Fruity yogurt—delicious and nutritious.
Dried fruit—so many varieties to choose from, and one of the easiest to carry anywhere.
Cottage cheese—mega-protein, and good with a variety of vegetables.
Boiled eggs—talk about protein, and they travel well, though not for very long. Eat them quick.
Smoothies—the best thing about these is you can put what you like in them.
Oatmeal—to make a strong horse, you feed it oats. Don’t you want to be as strong as a horse?
Fig bars—these are becoming more common and fortunately, come in a wide variety.
Fruit—the undried form of the fruit is tasty too.
Trail mix—like a granola bar, only much more loose; for best results, make your own.
String cheese—yes, millions of kids get this in their lunch, and you can too.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich—speaking of kids’ lunches, this is actually an ideal food to take into the wilderness, or to consume before pumping iron, or after a marathon swim.
Xenosthesia.com 