What if car names were like rock band names? What kind of music would your rock and roll car play?
Sonoma (GMC)? Definitely something with a horn section, and a stand-up bass.
Jetta (VW)? …would play some hard and heavy licks like “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?”.
Impala (Chevy)? Probably would play some otherworldly rarities with a deep baritone singer and a tambourine.
Faster (Isuzu)? Oh yeah, you know this one is the speed metal band car (truck) of all rock and roll cars.
Wizard (also Isuzu)? This one has an obvious fantasy metal band vibe.
Catalina (Pontiac)? Mellow island music. No question.
Jimny (Suzuki)? That’s not a hard one. It would play some blistering, bluesy guitar solos.
Sesto Elemento (Lambo)? Moody alternative rock would come out of this one.
Honcho (Jeep)? Probably a country/western type, don’t you think?
Corsair (Ford)? Electronic music of some kind. Some type of music that sounds like the future, at times gritty and edgy, and other times smooth and melodic.
The above are only a handful of the car models out there. This list could go on for days and days. But what fun would it be for you if I commented on all of them. So now it’s your turn. You can even play this game while driving around. Have fun with it.
You may get tired of all the “dad jokes” in June, so let’s talk more about bikes.
There isn’t anything I can think of that has more varieties than the cycle. There’s the unicycle, the recumbent cycle, the cruiser, the tandem, the tricycle, the roadie, the BMX, the mountain bike, the balance bike, the gravel bike, the foldable bike, the electric bike, the handcycle, the training-wheel cycle, and the sidecar bicycle. So many people have had ideas on their own brand and breed of cycle that the possibilities still seem to be relatively untapped. What could you dream up, invent, and produce?
Before you invent whatever’s on your mind, let’s look at what the others listed really are.
For instance, you probably already know what a tricycle is. It’s a cycle with three wheels. They aren’t only for sidewalk riding by children. They come in adult sizes too. They can be a fantastic way to get groceries, or to get exercise. They’re perfect for people who no longer have good balance, or, yes, for people too young to have developed balance yet. The training-wheel cycle is based on the same concept, except it will most likely have four wheels: two average sized wheels and two very small wheels stretching out to the sides of the bike to keep the bike upright.
The unicycle is in complete opposition to the tricycle and the training-wheel cycle. It’s for people with excellent to amazing balance. The unicycle is only one wheel, a fork, and a seat on top of the fork. The fork will incorporate the crank arms and pedals. To balance, usually the rider will use his or her own arms to extend out to the sides. A rocking motion is often how the unicycle rider starts and stays in one place. Then if you’re crazy, you put on a cape and juggle machetes.
A recumbent cycle is just a low-rider cycle. It has a low profile, so low that the person riding it can almost recline. If you’ve ever seen these on the streets, you probably noticed that they have a flag extending up from behind the seat. That’s so people in cars and trucks can see them and not run them over.
The cruiser, also sometimes called a beach cruiser, is a bicycle with a high center of gravity and taller handlebars. This kind of bicycle was meant for casual rides on roads and boardwalks. They would often be fitted with a basket for hauling things.
Although the tandem is meant for people to double up in the twin seats, they can be ridden by one person. Many models of the tandem bicycle have a “command” seat, or the seat which absolutely has to have a rider, and then the other seat is just a helper seat, where the person helps to pedal, but can’t steer. A few have been rigged up with crazy steering gear so that either seat is the “command” seat.
Road bikes are common enough, though they do come in a few varieties. There are racing models which are feather light and have a lot of gears for playing catch-me-if-you-can. Others are more for the average person who wants to get fit on a flat piece of asphalt, but they’re still roadies, no less legitimate than the pro-racers. Gravel bikes and cyclocross bikes are slight variations of the road bike—both with thicker, sturdier components to make traveling off road more fun.
BMX bikes and mountain bikes are off road rigs. They usually boast tiny saddles, and thicker and/or knobbier tires. They also have beefy welding for rougher handling.
Balance bikes are cool. They’re basically just a bike frame, some wheels, and handlebars. No pedals. A balance bike is for kids to be trained, without training wheels, how to balance on a two-wheeled vehicle.
A foldable bike is exactly what it sounds like: a bike that folds. It’s the Transformer of the biking world. It folds up and turns into a…robot?…no, just a bike that fits into smaller spaces, such as the trunk of a car, or a closet.
The e-bike is only an electric bike. It’s really, at the heart of it, just a motorcycle. There are “assisted pedaling” varieties, and 100% driven varieties. Regardless of how much they push you, they do push you, so if some muscley mountain biker calls you a “cheater”, take it with a measure of humor. He may be afraid that he is going to be old like you someday.
By the way, there are loads of companies which make electric motorcycles. These electric motorcycles are as fast as the gas varieties, and they’re out there on the streets, right now.
The sidecar, in my humble opinion was destined to happen, since it’s just a more friendly way to tow someone. Trailers make it difficult to talk to whoever you’re pulling, hence the sidecar bike.
One of the coolest inventions is the handcycle.
The handcycle is often thought of as an accommodation for people with limited or no use of their legs, however, such a bike can be for anyone wanting to feel the experience. Honestly, it has to take some massive amounts of upper body strength to drive one of these handcycles. If you can imagine that mountain biker who called the e-biker a “cheater” coming up alongside the biker on a handcycle, then the biker on the handcycle would just snicker at that wimpy mountain biker and drive off into the sunset.
To live with worry and stress is to live a short life.
The secret many long-living people don’t disclose is to keep life simple. Less is more, in this case. Minimalist living is healthy living.
If you have less stuff, you have fewer worries.
Another secret to a long and healthy life is to make time to play. Find something you enjoy, such as a pastime or sport. Do it as often as possible. Make it a priority.
After you’ve played, don’t forget to get a fair helping of rest. Resting, relaxing, ruminating; these are essential elements when preparing for an extended stay on planet Earth.
Family love is another common theme in places where average ages are high. Apparently, if you want to live to a ripe old age, get yourself a family.
Longevity seems to be linked with laughter too. People in countries where humor is held in high esteem tend to stretch the years.
Obviously, the best way would be to have a family full of comedians. Raise children who love to laugh and play, then your long life will be ensured.
Why brush or broom when, with a breeze, you can clear the room? Freeze that sneeze behind your eyes it’s no surprise your head will go boom! A foreign word is what you heard on the train to Marakesh. Don’t fall in to a world of sin, you’ll burn inside your flesh. A gentle nod, a prayer to God, not days spent alone; a love of your own, peace, solace, and eternal love. Some love is fleeting, not worth repeating, others are like an angel from above. As for what’s next—you’ll send me some text and it will magically appear in a box in my pocket.
Pocket boxes are a future wave, if you want one for yourself, you’ll have to behave. Sailing the wild sea on a dried and treated tree. Not much room for you and me, but we’ll travel until we’re free, from the aft of this drafty raft. Lots of time to think means ranging away from the old thoughts, greasy thoughts, poetic thoughts, or even wrong thoughts, but it can also mean—rabbit holes! Dive into the info on the screen, there’s a world of knowledge up in that scene. Ask questions to get there faster, now who’s your master? It’s the fuel, it’s the gas, it’s reducing intrinsic mass. It’s lift, it’s thrust, it’s about leaving a trail of dust. Button in the bucket, wig on the bust. The kittens are savage, there’s no bone they won’t ravage. When it’s time to take a hike, don’t drop the mic—it doesn’t belong to you.
As I was doing a variety of things at the BMX park on my mountain bike, I was wondering if I was really “mountain biking.”
Then, of course, I saw my own inability to pin down what exactly mountain biking is. This is how research happens.
Though the first bicycle was made in 1871, mountain biking itself all started on Mount Tamalpais in Marin County, California in the 1970s. The idea may have come before that with Europeans going cross country on their road bikes, but that style could also be considered “Cyclocross” or “Gravel Biking”. Rather than using road bikes, these guys in California initially used cruisers: a kind of bike which allows the rider to sit more upright instead of hunching over for aerodynamics. Also, the pioneers of mountain biking didn’t necessarily go cross country or race in a circle, but instead went up the mountain and then came back down.
Cruiser
While cyclocross in its infancy introduced cyclists to offroad riding, there was not much experimentation with the bicycle form. Mountain biking, on the other hand, seemed to spawn new ideas for bikes faster than you can say, “I think I just ate a bug!”
The man often credited for inventing the sport of mountain biking, Joe Breeze, even made his own frames, then soon got into making them for others. And there he goes down in history again for being the first person to sell a mountain bike.
Joe Breeze’s designs for bikes were soon mimicked by other bike builders, and the sport started to gain notice in other parts of the world. It wasn’t long before the tires got fatter and knobbier. It would take quite a few more years before bike builders started to get their ideas from motorcycle engineering. Once that happened though, then mountain bikes got mega-shocks, hydraulics, and disc brakes. Not all of these “advancements” were truly advances, but that’s an opinion I’ll save for another article.
The point here is that much of what defines “Mountain Biking” is the style of the bike. There are a few variations, but the standards are these:
1. Relatively straight handlebars which extend to slightly wider than the rider’s shoulder width.
2. Frame designed to take more abuse than a road bike or a BMX bike.
3. 1 to 30 gears depending on rider’s preference.
4. 4 to 12 inches (100 to 300 millimeters) of suspension travel.
5. 6 to 8 inch disc brakes, when discs are used.
6. Wider tires than a BMX bike. Thinner tires than a motorcycle.
That last one isn’t always true anymore with the popularity of “Fat Bikes” taking the mountain biking sport into the winter months. When they say fat, they do mean fat. Some fat bikes have tires thicker than elephant legs. The design is like riding a snowshoe, so it makes riding in the snow that much easier.
There’s also an honor code in mountain biking. With the honor code there’s a set of rules; an etiquette, if you care to call it such.
The rules are these:
1. Right of way on every trail belongs to: hikers, horses and their riders, and bikers going uphill.
2. Stay center trail through puddles, or jump over the puddles.
3. Leave no trace.
4. If you break it, you fix it.
5. Announce yourself when coming up behind anyone.
6. Don’t stop mid-trail.
7. Offer help to anyone and everyone who has stopped off to the side of the trail.
Some of the acronyms for biking in general can be confusing. Here are a few to help you get an idea what everyone is talking about:
ATV: All Terrain Vehicle
BMX: Bicycle-like Motocross
CX: Cyclocross
MTB: MounTain Bike
MX: Motocross
Some of the lingo, phraseology, lexicon of mountain biking can be confusing too, if you haven’t been in the middle of it. So the following are a few favorites:
Armor: head to toe padding for those who fall down a lot.
Baby Heads: referring to the size of certain rocks on the trail.
Berm: a humped section of trail built to make cornering easier; also, sometimes forming a jump (berm jump).
Cheater: an electric bike. This is prejudice, of course, and it only really applies if the e-bike is in a race.
Drop: an overhang with a sloped transition below it.
Full Suspension: a bike with front and rear suspension.
Gap-jump: this comes from BMX riding, and it refers to a jump with a landing and a lot of air in between.
Hardtail: a bike with front suspension, but no rear shock absorber.
Ladders: wooden-runged ladders usually laid horizontal to add interest to some trails.
Single Track: a trail with only enough room for one bike, because the path is as wide as a tire.
Skinnies: initially just a log to balance on, a skinny can also be other items, such as ladders, made barely wide enough for a tire.
One thing to note is that there is a lot of debate over e-bikes. There are many arguments for and against. There are even trails which prohibit e-bikes. The term “cheater” is derogatory—used as an insult mainly by those with the stamina to get up steep hills. Even though I prefer to climb by my own power, I recognize not everyone has the stamina, some because they are just starting, others because they’ve aged out of stamina. Regardless of where everyone is on the spectrum, the prejudice neglects to acknowledge one critical historical note—the fact that many of the most beautiful single track trails were made by motorcycles. The offroading motorcycle community came long before the offroading cycling community, and the mountains have the evidence to prove it. I’m not the only one who looks at the e-bike as just another motorcycle. There are many more varieties of electric motorcycles now than ever before. This is my reasoning for wanting e-bikes on the trails—because they can be a great tool for making trails for everyone. Also, if you were taking shovels and other tools up to repair trails, an e-bike would be a smart option. The next best option after an e-bike would be a pack animal, like a mule.
The summary and fine-tuning of the definition is simple. Mountain biking is riding up the mountain, then coming back down, requires a mountain bike, and requires one to have manners on the trail.
Xenosthesia.com 