ADHD and Australianisms with Dr. Suzi Uzi

Dear Suzi Uzi,

Can someone with ADHD ever be a good public speaker?


Disco Neck Ted

Dear Ted,

You forgot the L in public. 

Ha! Made you look! And the answer to your question is a heartfelt “Yes!” The person afflic-ted with such a disorder would probably need the speech to be scrip-ted. Improv may not be their finest skill, so if the speech is scripted, the person can maintain flow and stay on the subject without their attention being arres-ted. Does this mean, if the wannabe public speaker has a bright idea in the midst of the presentation, they shouldn’t express it? No, of course not. Any good public speaker knows the audience could experience “attention deficit” at any moment. You have to keep them focused as well, but practice interjections ahead of time until they come naturally. Script it, stick to the script, and add interesting bits only when needed.


Dr. Uzi

Dear Suzi Uzi,

If Prince Charles ever had children, would they survive?



What’s up Chuck?,

Hmmm…Don’t you know…er…do you mean, as in, survival of the fittest? Okay, not likely.


Dr. Uzi

Dear Dr. Uzi,

I had a mishap in the restroom which caused me to wonder: if I mix something toxic with something non-toxic, does it make something semi-toxic?

Truly curious.

Dear Truly,

On first glance it might seem that way, but no, your result would most likely still carry the properties of the toxic. If you simply diluted whatever you have which is toxic, it would take, on average, one billion gallons of water to dilute one cup of arsenic. All kidding aside, this is one of the easier math problems in chemistry: all you have to do is multiply the molarity with the volume of the whole, then pick a dilution, any dilution. The molarity of the old (times volume) will equal the molarity of the new (times volume). For example, if 10 gallons of water increased to 100 gallons of water, then: .015 x 10 = .0015 x 100. Hopefully you can see the molarity of your toxin decreases as volume of water increases. It’s not quite the same when you say “something non-toxic” because it could be anything at any amount, so the math is as indefinite as the subject. However, if you said one cup of arsenic versus one box of non-toxic crayons (about one cup of wax), we’d still have toxic crayons until we added about 16 billion boxes of crayons. Even then, I would question your sanity if you were consuming crayons mixed with arsenic.


Dr. Uzi

Dear Dr. Uzi,

My co-workers say they can’t understand a word I’m saying. I thought we spoke the same language. 


Texan in Australia

Dear Tex,

Your best bet is to invent a translation device. A digital voice may be more clear to them than your boot-scoot boogie. Honestly, I would not be surprised if you couldn’t understand them either. They tend to add Rs in words which have no Rs. Like when they say “nor” in place of “no”. They even add an extra R in the name of their country, like this: “or-stry-lia”.

Best wishes y’all,

Dr. Uzi

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, twelve screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

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