Sweaters

What kind of sweater are you? There are so many different kinds.

There are so many different ways to SWEAT.

1. Armpit sweater: the most common type and possibly the easiest to handle (unless it’s a number 13).

2. Chest sweater: usually noticeable on guys when they exercise.

3. Forehead sweater: you know it’s going to end up on the back of the hand.

4. Under-the-hair sweater: it comes leaking, creeping out.

5. Back sweater: again, this is mostly guys when they exercise, but exactly like chest sweat, women experience it too.

6. Everywhere sweater: those poor souls.

7. “Aaaugh! It’s in my eyes!” sweater: if this ever happens to you, then you know how bad it can be.

8. Crotch sweater: ewww!

9. Palm sweater: do NOT shake hands.

10. Back-of-the-knees sweater: gets stuck to the leather sofa.

11. Neck sweater: brown collar on a white shirt.

12. Just-drank-a-beer sweater: sometimes known as the maintain-your-distance sweater (see number 13).

13. 13 foot sweater: minimum distance to keep the nose alive.

14. Beltline sweater: how?

15. Nervous sweater: doesn’t even have to work, only worry.

16. And those who only “glisten”. Create your own reality.