Much Needed Nonsense

Photo by Ravi Sharma

If your life gets a bit too serious at times, look no further. I’ll keep you on the weird and wild path. Below are listed and described some funny (and genius) ideas for cell phone apps. When your life starts challenging you with too much responsibility, or too much adulthood, or too much anything really, you can turn on one of these apps and get childish or just find what you really need.

FLUSH “Toilet Finder” This app comes to the rescue for anyone out of their territory who needs to locate the nearest public restroom. One particular review on this one said, “Pure genius.”

LICK THE ICICLE Your finger “licks” by swiping a digital icicle which appears on your phone when you use this app. Definitely designed for moments of extreme boredom.

HONEY HARMONICA Turn your phone into a virtual musical instrument. There are other harmonica apps, but this one has the best reviews I could find. So if you’re looking for a way to play harmonica but don’t happen to have your actual harmonica with you, take out your phone and start playing.

iBEER Also comes with functions that look like milk, champagne, and “chocolate drink”, this app transforms your phone to look as though it’s a glass full of the selected beverage. You tip your phone up by your mouth to complete the illusion of drinking.

INSTANT BUTTONS This app is only an excuse to make fart noises, but I think it is the original, so they get points for being original. The reviews are terrible though, so you should most likely avoid loading it on your phone.

BIG BANG WHIP Like the app above, this one is a way for you to make funny, silly, and even annoying sounds with your phone. Unlike Instant Buttons, though, Big Bang Whip has really good reviews (as of the date of this ‘barchive post).

SQUID SURVIVAL GAME  “Chance to become billionaire is on your hand now. So get ready and survive now.” I wouldn’t have even mentioned this app except for that nearly unintelligible marketing description. Ha ha, marketing.

FAKE CALL PRO: PRANK CALL APP And here is the one you need if you’re forever trying to get out of doing something. Set the timer and you can pretend to answer your phone and get away from whatever other business you may be doing at the time.

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, twelve screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

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