Fast Food Critic



And then there are times when I just don’t care and I’m hungry enough to get some fast food somewhere. One problem is weak-on-nutrition fast food meals leave me more hungry than before I ate. There are good and bad fast food restaurants, that’s for sure. One of the best is Taco Time. Taco Time has super tasty food for an average price. The food at Taco Time actually has nutritional value, unlike other fast food places. You can get some food there that’s fried, but other than those items, the food isn’t greasy or oily. They do have tater-tots, which is my least favorite thing on their menu. All things considered, Taco Time is a great food chain, and I recommend their Veggie Burrito. If you don’t have a Taco Time in your town, buy a franchise!

Another good place is Panda Express. Great chow-mein. Addictive Orange Chicken. I don’t think it’s very healthy food. Some of it has vegetables, but I think they fry everything, even the drinks—no I’m kidding, they only fry the noodles, the vegetables, the beef and the chicken. It all tastes good, because they fry it.

Kneaders is another place that seems to have really good food, and they keep the nutrition in it. Kneaders is like a deli: sandwiches and soups. Not a huge selection to choose from, but they make up for that in delicious flavors.

Little Caesar’s has fast pizza at decent prices. I don’t visit the place a lot, but I have a friend who says he’s addicted to the place. He gets lunch and dinner there. I aint’ sayin’ nothin’ about their food, but I swear I can hear my friend’s arteries closing off a little more each day. Like the sound a hose makes when you kink it.

Arby’s is fairly good all around, their standard beef sandwich is flavorless and non-nutritional, but it tastes alright if you put some of their Arby’s Sauce on it.

Other food places are way overpriced considering the food they’re selling. Zupas for instance, you pay to get nothing, so be prepared to be hungry after “eating” there. Chik-fil-a is flavorless. Put some Arby’s sauce on your Chik-fil-a sandwich to make it edible. In-N-Out fries taste like soap. Maybe they’re clean fries, but who cares? I don’t eat there. I don’t want my guts full of detergent. Cafe Rio has good portion sizes for what they charge you, but there isn’t any flavor in their food. You have to doctor it up with hot sauce. At Five Guys Burgers and Fries you pay a lot for a sack full of fries. Subway is decent. Fair selection. I always make them put the condiments on the bread though. They have a strange arrangement where they want you to select your toppings and they want to squirt condiments in the middle of your sandwich. Who does that? Nobody. If you make a sandwich at home, you put mayo on one piece of bread, mustard on another piece of bread, right? Anyway, the people who work there have been accomodating to me and my particular taste. Jimmy John’s may be fast, but the sandwiches are mediocre. I don’t usually frequent mediocre. I once got a sandwich that looked real good, but there was bacon on it and the bacon they “cooked” had the consistency of the sole of my shoe. I know because I ended up trying to eat my shoe after the sandwich. In all fairness, the sandwich was good, as long as I picked off the rubbery stretch of bacon. Speaking of floppy bacon, there are a lot of restaurants, especially fast food places, that use fake cheese. No one has eaten fake cheese since the government was handing it out with Spam during World War I. Anyway, I won’t mention the names of any places that try to sell fake cheese. They don’t even deserve bad press; that’s my opinion.

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, twelve screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

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