Would you rather talk politics or kittens?


Could we say optimists to go through life with a permanently-amused attitude? Can you do it? The next time someone puts out the politics in the form of their belligerent opinion, could you just chuckle and interrupt their goad with some of your charm?

Instead of being sucked down in the vortex of name-calling and derision, could you take it up to a humane level? Here’s a short list of some effective interrupts:

  1. Ask the person what they had for breakfast/lunch today. Or invite them to lunch.
  2. Start talking about kittens. Kittens are magic.
  3. Describe your latest encounter with something gross. Bodily functions will turn just about anyone’s attention. Especially at lunch.
  4. Walmart; everyone has an opinion about Walmart.
  5. The latest dead celebrity. Lord knows we have no shortage of those.
  6. Tell a joke.

As for number six, here’s a joke I heard recently: Pepsi and Coke got married and tried to have children. They tried for a long time, but couldn’t seem to make it happen, so they decided to go see a doctor. The doctor invited them in to her exam room. She told them, “I know why you aren’t having children. You’re both Pops.”

Of course, there are people in this world who are so uptight, they won’t be swayed from their chosen topic. They won’t care for a joke, no matter what joke you tell them. They might think they’re being focused, even though everyone around them knows they’re just stubborn. So what do you do then?

If you have an airhorn handy…

Ha! I’m kidding. You were imagining blowing that airhorn right in their ear, weren’t you?

What else?

Duct tape? Now you’re really taking it too far. Stop thinking that way.

How about just drowning them out with loud music, taking the crowd with you by inviting the rest to lunch, or even shouting about your preferred topic at a volume louder than theirs? It may not win you any friends, but then again, if you’re shouting about kittens, that’s going to be pretty hilarious, especially if you have pictures to go with your rant.

Pictures like this:


Photo credit: Jari Hytonen

“These KITTENS are in a BASKET!!!! ON a scale of ONE to TEN, how CUTE are they?!!!”

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, twelve screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at xenosthesia.com or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

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