Immolation

By any standard, immolation is a harsh punishment. Even those who enforce the punishment would have to agree it is harsh. Part of the reason for doing it is because it is perceived as harsh on all sides. So why enforce the punishment on oneself? Self-immolation is the act of setting oneself on fire, to …

Where to Focus?

Blue is the color of the ocean, and the color of cold lips. Grey is the color of pigeons, and pocket lint. Brown is the color of mountains and dirt and old bananas and beat up apples and a scoop of chili and new shoes and a sweet chocolate bar. White is the color of …

Fire Isn’t Hot?

There are many new trends wanting desperately to take a grip on the collective consciousness. They make claims that amount to nothing more than denial of the obvious. Denying what is objectively quantifiable is an exercise of confusion. If the point of the argument is to prove the dazed quality of the one making the …

Requirements of Comedy

Requirements for Comedy Be mostly stupid. Comedy doesn’t require you to think scientifically, or mathematically, or philosophically, or logically. You can let your intellect blow away on the breeze, if you like. Or you can let it slip down into your crotch, into your underclothes (front or back, it doesn’t really matter), and then use …

Citizen Pyromaniacs

Where I come from, we have an annual tradition of burning everything. We call it the Fourth of July, and it’s symbolic of something, or maybe many things, but whatever that symbolism represents is up to debate. Could be death, could be destruction. Could be symbolic of burning money. It could even be symbolic of …