Where’s My AI?

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Have you ever heard of apophenia? It means to communicate by using a series of seemingly unrelated ideas. Well, I have an acquaintance, even a friend, who makes lots of sense when I speak to him directly, but when he creates online conversations, he is totally apophenic. He trips from subject to subject so rapidly, there are few people who follow his online rants. In fact, there are few people who can follow his online rants. He does not construct a paragraph thoughtfully. For instance, while chatting with him about his pet peeve, “climate change”, he managed to change the subject seven times. He wandered off into subjects like the caffeine and cocaine contents of certain soda, the pay-off of American auto manufacturers by their government, and how many people work at NASA. Now, if you take all of these subjects one by one, you can see how they do relate to the original topic, though the relation is no doubt indirect. It may even be interesting to note here that one definition of the word apophenia is to read connective meaning into someone’s seemingly unrelated ideas. So, for me to understand my apophenic friend even better, I have to employ apophenia? It’s not easy.

Another acquaintance of mine, who, unfortunately, I can’t really say is a friend, has autism. For this man, I have to employ a great deal of patience. He does not understand figures of speech at all. He takes every word literally. If you tell him you sent smoke signals, he would look up in the sky for the smoke. If you tell him he ate crow, he would mentally review his last few meals. If you told him someone was pulling his leg, he would ask you why you can’t see the obvious truth—no one is even so much as holding his leg.

And this is where I think AI could shine. Really, really shine. If I had an Artificial Intelligence program to communicate with both of these men, then more clear sentences could be arranged, more clear thoughts could be passed around. Of course, we would have to input the specific case of each man. I would have to tell the AI that the first man uses apophenia. I would have to tell the AI that the second man has autism, and probably I would have to tell the AI what sort of autism. And of course the autism would have to be diagnosed to discover the specific kind. Then again, an AI could be trained to detect the subtle nuances of an autistic mind.

The great conclusion of all of this would be that we could all communicate with each other more effectively. I can just imagine how the AI would pare down the first man’s ideas like this: “And I believe in thegungadincocacolamachinepoisoncontroleradication fromouterspacetimecontinuumfactoreconomicsofahockeygamefistfight will cause climate stasis.” So that I would hear only: “I believe in climate stasis.”

And then with the second man, I would say, “He’s pulling your leg.” And he would hear, “He is not telling you the truth. He is instead fabricating a non-existent scenario for your entertainment and amusement, while simultaneously using you as part of the humor. You are now friends. The appropriate response is to laugh, make a fist, and punch him in the shoulder.”

There Are No Idiots

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Have you ever seen someone point at a Ford Bronco and say, “That’s a cool looking Jeep.”? Just because they think it’s a Jeep doesn’t make it a Jeep.

Just because you think someone is an “idiot” doesn’t make them an idiot. Plus, what happens to your abstract mental construct when the person you called an idiot gains a higher IQ score than you? Would you call yourself an idiot? And even if you did manage to call yourself that, would it be true? I’m here to tell you it’s not true. There are no idiots, only people in a different stage of growth, or level of learning from you.

The “abstract mental construct” I mentioned is that label, the tag. It creates a space inside the taggers brain—a convenient file for all the other people who are like the one identified. A shallow way to regard others, it requires no in-depth study of anyone. It doesn’t necessarily correlate with reality; that’s the abstract part. It’s not objective, as in, it can’t be verified by everyone in the universe. So, for instance, if you were playing with 5 year old Isaac Asimov on the playground, and he poured gravel in your shoes, and you called him an idiot, would everyone, or even a high majority of people agree with you? Or would they say that you’re the only one who thinks so?

Okay, maybe that was too agreeable. Many people love Isaac Asimov. Many people would even wish to have him pour a handful of gravel in their shoes. They would have saved that gravel their whole lives—and cherished it. Insert the name of someone less agreeable in the above paragraph, like say, Donald Trump, or Marshall Mathers. Did either one of these “idiots” know very much when they were 5 years old? You might even say that both are of the same intelligence as they were when they were 5; but if you said it, you’d know you were only trying to be funny, and that your argument didn’t carry any weight logically. They grew. They learned. They know more than they did when they were 5. We all grow. We all learn. Some learn slower than others. But if idiocy is so temporary, is it still a label you want to use? In a few short weeks, or even months, you could be proven wrong. You could be passed up on the scale of knowledge.

Next question: How does labeling someone an idiot help that person learn what you wished they knew?

Opinions

ufojean

A short list of some opinions was probably another eventuality.

Guns: Living beings have a right to protect themselves. This is not a constitutional right, it’s a universal right. Guns are an effective method of protection. Unfortunately, current Earthling culture praises the use of a gun as an offensive weapon. Strange how they miss the part about being mortal.

Intelligence: It’s rare, but it does exist. Some of us come by it randomly. Some of us come by it only in passing. Others have to work at it. If you use someone else’s lack of intelligence as an insult, then you have a lot of work to do yourself. Cyberbullying is too often done with words like “idiot” and “moron”.

Protests: Protests are a way for people who make videos to insult the intelligence of the common protester who doesn’t have any idea what the protest is about. Refer to the statement on intelligence.

Authors: Authors are stuffy, old weirdoes with little to no concept of hygiene. If you know anyone who calls themselves an author, give them a bar of soap and instruction on how to use it. Writers, on the other hand, are clever people who tend to turn a word into a vista.

Blockchain: Sounds like imprisonment. Looks like it’s an inevitable part of our future. Hopefully it will be better than it sounds.

Eventually, I’ll Slip

dwarf-1273075__480It’s probably inevitable. (Does this count as a legal disclaimer?) Somewhere, somehow, I’ll be voicing an opinion, and BAM!, I’ll say, or write, something that upsets someone. Within everyone is a huge ball of emotions and opinions and probably some spices and undigested scraps that haven’t been explored yet, and I’m no different. I have stuff in me that I don’t know about. Isn’t it true that we know others long before we know ourselves?

Not even talking about introversion or extroversion here. I’m talking about self-knowledge. We all seem to be poor critics of ourselves. We don’t judge ourselves very accurately. Accurate self-image is a skill that seems to escape most humans. When was the last time you saw someone dressed in clothes you would consider awkward and heard them admit that they were dressed in strange clothes? Have you ever hired someone who wasn’t any good at what they do? And did they know that they weren’t any good at it? Sure, it’s considered impolite (in some cultures) to point out another persons faults; however, how will that person ever really know if someone doesn’t eventually give them an honest, objective opinion? And ooh boy, do I have opinions. I could probably list some here. No, I better stay on topic. The point of today’s ramble is two-fold: First, I wouldn’t mind some constructive criticism; Second, I will most likely give out criticism (hopefully constructive) to someone, and with this web archive I can say, “See? I told you so.”

Oh, and by the way, when I’m giving criticism, I try to keep it constructive by using softeners, such as: “It seems like…” and “From my point of view…” These are good tactful ways to show you’re merely observing and not nitpicking. So there you go. If you have read this far, you maybe learned some diplomacy. Maybe you could prevent the next nuclear holocaust.

The Novel and The Literary Machine

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Sound Distortion is the name of my first novel.

The literary world is a huge, manic, and gluttonous machine. It is a system of obstacles that will make you want to scream into your own ear until you can no longer hear yourself or anyone else. The literary system of agents and big publishers and medium publishers and vanity press publishers is so bloated and time-consuming, believe me. And time-consuming is a more literal definition than you might suppose. It is so time-devouring that while I was waiting for several publishers and agents to return my emails about this first novel I wrote five more novels, three screenplays, and many short stories. They all said “no”, but I guess the time wasn’t completely devoured—I got a lot of work done.

Despite the frustration of trying to walk in the dinosaur tracks of the literary world, I have enjoyed my new contacts at the publishing company where I seem to have found a home. They have helped me through the editing process and the advertising process, and soon we will be going through the process of selling. Sound Distortion will be out on shelves, physical and digital, very soon.

Here’s a synopsis of the novel:

Sound Distortion (a play on words hinting at the mood and theme of the book) sends the reader on a surreal journey through a junior high school with the teenage main character, Djonny DeSoto, and his invention of a jacket that speaks for him via the sublime sounds of old and new musicians. Djonny enters his world without a voice and so invents a way to tap the world of music. Along the way he is stalked and tormented by enemies, and just when he needs to communicate most, gives up his jacket to a girl who needs it more and loses his ability to speak.

Within the novel, I held no discrimination against any of the styles of music. Likewise though, there was no favoritism when it came to teasing the various styles. I make fun of everything, and promote everything equally. There are music culture references throughout, as well as wordplay and innuendo. I hope it’s as fun for people to read as it was for me to write.