So, you realized you’re a cat-loving person, but your current pet is a dog. No problem; follow these easy steps and you’ll soon have the cat you really want.
First, surgically remove the snout and elongated jaw of the unwanted dog. Cats, of course, do not have a snout, so it must be removed. Looks are important, so make sure you retain the whiskers, wet nose, and some of the teeth.
Next, depending on the breed of dog, you may need to shorten the torso and leg length. This affect can be achieved by surgery also.
Training will follow any surgeries. Trainings can include teaching your dog to prowl at night, how to lick its paw and then rub that slobbery paw across its head, and how to sometimes not care if you’ve just arrived home or even whether you’re in the room or not.
Last, and most difficult, is changing the dog’s bark into a cat’s meow. Some may suggest more surgery, however, to make the dog more accustomed to its new cat voice, a whole new perspective will need to be subliminally planted in the old dog’s/new cat’s brain. One trick is you meow yourself whenever you talk or make any sound around your pet. The ideal method though, is to subject the dog to 10,000 hours of cat videos.
Remember, the cat may not watch, but the dog will still hear.
Farce above. Seriousness below. Medical alterations have their place and obvious limits.
For more info see encyclopedia.ushmm.org
