Weird Things

We all do weird things. Here are a few of the weird things encountered recently and collected specifically for this list:

She cries out for control when she has none. He dunks his bread in everything, even his glass of milk. That guy sneezes louder than seems necessary. He passes gas constantly—a loose sphincter. She saves bags inside other bags. She doesn’t save boxes the same way. They take drugs to escape the pain they don’t really feel anyway. He swerves his car when he sees cats and dogs in the road. Is he trying to miss, or not? That other guy never leaves his seat on the curb by the gas station, except when he sleeps on the grass beside the gas station. They like to buy him gas station nachos. No one knows what he drinks. No one dares ask. How does he wash the nachos down? She dances to all the wrong songs. He peals his fingernails instead of clipping them. The guy with the beard flies airplanes—made of paper. She knows a lot of French words, but she doesn’t ever dare speak them in case some French person might be listening. She said so in English. That other gal plays guitar. She doesn’t use a guitar pick, she uses her fingernails. Her friend plays the same way, but she prefers when her nails are broken, rough. He bows to people randomly. He doesn’t know why he acts that way.