How To

How to get friends:

1. Get serious.
2. Get angry.
3. Get lost.
4. Get over it.
5. Stay over it.

How to ride a skateboard:

1. Plant feet on board.
2. Call your board a stick.
3. Move stick to halfpipe.
4. Halfpipe to air, grab stick.
5. Air to rail, grab nads.
6. Your nads.

How to start a rock band:

1. Hire high school friends.
2. Come up with a name.
3. Fire drummer.
4. Get a new drummer.
5. Practice in your garage.
6. Find your sound.

How to plant a garden:

1. Prepare soil (compost: ash, eggshells, orange peels, etc.)
2. Ensure worms live there.
3. Divide ground.
4. Introduce irrigation.
5. Plant seeds.
6. Remove weeds.

How to make peanut butter: 

1. Open bag slowly—about a half an hour.
2. Take out one M.
3. Pop M in mouth.
4. Suck.
5. When candy coating and chocolate are dissolved, chew. Peanut butter!