Of Men and Women

Crass Content Warning!

There will be writing about toilets and such in this episode, so if you’re not in the mood for crass talk, you may want to read another post like this one.

The image above is reportedly of a toilet room built over an elevator shaft.

What is your immediate reaction?

After seeing this on someone’s Twitter page, I was intrigued by the number of ladies who said they’d rather pee on the carpet outside that room than go in there and have to look down the shaft while they did their business. To be honest, I didn’t read one comment of a woman saying she would want to go in there and use the toilet. They all denied. There were a lot of jokes about not being constipated any more and about premature bowel movements, but no one who said they’d be brave enough to go in there.

These were the reactions of the women, and quite honestly, most of the men who responded.

Then there’s me. My immediate reaction was, “Why’d they cover up the hole? I want to see it and hear how it sounds to pee forty feet down.”

Granted this was a tiny cross-section of society responding, but the majority of the women were glad it was an abandoned elevator shaft. The men were wishing it wasn’t, so they could wave at people twenty feet below while they birthed a log bass.

“Hello down there! While you’re traveling up from the basement, I’m sending things down.”

So here, in this one picture, we arrive at the difference between men and women. One is for sure there’s no way, and the other is curious to know more. Is it always like this? Of course not. At times, the roles are reversed. For instance, a woman is sometimes curious to know when the man she knows will mature, while the man almost never is (curious to know when he’ll mature). Then again, if we’re talking about immaturity, we’re not talking about men, but boys.

And there, right in the middle of that idea, is another difference between men and women. Women mature faster. They grow out of the prepubescent fascination with bodily functions much faster than the male specimens of humanity do. Men linger like a bathroom smell.

Fact, dude. Fact.

Here’s another interesting phenomenon, though it’s not gender-specific: some people are hotter than others.

I’ve spoken to many couples over the years and it’s interesting to me to see there is always one of them who is hot. Not talking about beauty or attractiveness or appeal. This is pure metabolism. One of them, the man or the woman, is always wanting the heat turned up, the other wants it down.

People get married and realize the difference between them. He says, “She’s always hot.” She giggles, and he expounds, “But she won’t let me warm up my feet on hers.” Then she laughs louder and says, “Keep your toe-cicles off me.”

The only thing I can’t figure out is why I’ve never run into a couple with the same metabolism in both the man and the woman. I’ve never heard of a married couple with two matching metabolisms. There’s always one with a high metabolism and the other with a slow metabolism.

It makes me wonder if that’s part of the attraction. Were they dating and held hands and the man was attracted to her because her hand cooled his off? Was she attracted too because he warmed her up?

Was she thinking, “Oh yeah, I’ll sleep much better with him keeping my feet warm.”? And was he thinking she would never want to warm her feet on his?

Hello! Was he wrong!

Was he thinking it was only her hands that were cold? Did the realization that her feet were cold take him by surprise that first time?

None of this is to say that the differences are bad. In fact without the differences, life would be so bland and monotonous. Wouldn’t it?

Vive l’difference!

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, twelve screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at xenosthesia.com or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

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