What to do with yer Bot

robot-2657140__480What to do with yer bot:

1. First you have to buy one. There should be a local bot store near you. Check the infonet for locations.

2. Cajole it. Don’t know how to do this? You’re already an irresponsible bot owner. (Just kidding. See the * below for a brief definition.)

3. Feed it Nanobytes brand bot feed.

4. Change its papers. You know. The papers in the bottom of its cage.

5. Comb its furry parts. Oil its scaly parts. Trim its claws. File its hardnose off.

6. Exercise it. Take it out for walks every day. Let it defecate on the neighbor’s lawn.

7. Shave the yakky parts. Ignore the gnuey parts.

7.5 Never put it in a cage.

8. Ride it like a horse until it’s nearly dead.

9. Vacuum out the pillow bed you’ve made for it in the garage. Let it rest.

10. When it’s rested and looking healthy, sell it at the bot farmer’s market.

11. Buy a new one.

12. Cajole it.

 

*Cajole: 1. Coax. 2. Lie. (So you either coax yer bot, or you tell it lies, whichever meaning of the word cajole you prefer.)

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, five screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at xenosthesia.com or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

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