People who spit their gum on the sidewalk should be knocked down there on the sidewalk with their gum. They should get a hard, swift shin to the soft parts of their body. They should be bullied until they cry.

Okay, that last sentence was purely in jest. The others, less so.

Do people not know that there could be hundreds of shoes stepping on that discarded gum in a day? And if the temperature of the walk is in a certain zone (the temperature at which gum does not harden), the gum could stay sticky for a long, long time. Long enough to contaminate shoes and attitudes across the whole city. People will all be in a foul mood, causing mayhem and disrupting feelings, all because of one careless gum chewer who spat their cud in the wrong place.

What’s the worst is when there’s a trash can in sight. When I see that, I always think that the person was not only careless but lazy. Couldn’t they take the ten steps to the can and spit it there instead of where everyone walks?

When you step on gum, you immediately search for something to wipe it on. Gravel, wood, the rough edge of a curb, or even grass, is what you think will do the trick. But it never all comes off. No matter what you do, a few minutes later you’ll feel your shoe sticking to the pavement again.

Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be a better plan to just leave the shoe over the gum. Then you’d be free of the gum, but you’d also save the next pedestrian the trouble of getting their unwanted share of the nasty junk.

If I was wearing a flip flop, then for sure I’d leave it there. I’d leave it and go buy a new pair. And if I saw someone spitting their gum out on the sidewalk, I’d smack them over the head with my new flip flop.

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, twelve screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

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