There is a misconception among most of us regarding allergies. Specifically: most of us don’t want them. We think we know everything, so we assume the allergies will make us miserable, coughing, sneezing, itching, and scratching. Usually, it’s how anybody reacts to their allergies, so it’s not an unfounded assumption.
A few people in our communities have the idea down much better. These people are old, retired men and women, and their favorite joke concerning allergies is: “I’m allergic to work.”
Which, of course, is a line of thinking we all should adopt. We need to pick up some allergies just for fun.
“I’m allergic to fear.”
That’s number one on a lot of people’s lists. If only the fear was something you avoided because it would make you break out in hives, then you wouldn’t be susceptible to the “must-worries” the mass media wants you to accept. They want us to fear the future of the planet, the future of the monetary system, the future of transportation—and of course the present day of all these things as well. What if, though, what if you looked at it all and said, “I don’t want the itchy eyes from this garbage, so I refuse to watch.” If so, the fear-mongering and fear-manufacturing would take hold on fewer people. It might even lose power and die.
Maybe even more powerful still would be if we wished for death allergens.
“I’m allergic to death. I’d rather not partake in that whole last meal thing. I might break out in sneezes and wheezes.”
It just might work. Let’s try it.
Another one, similar to the death allergen is the illness allergen. Can a person decide not to be sick? Can anyone will themselves well? If anyone made a claim to be allergic to sickness aloud, would it have any influence on the influenza?
There are as many food allergies as there are varieties of food, so having a food allergie isn’t so unbelievable. If there’s any food you don’t actually like, you can always say you’re allergic to it. Only the most crazed psycho would still expect you to eat it if you’re allergic to it.
On that same topic, anything you don’t enjoy can be something you claim gives you hives. Being subjected to some music you abhor? Be allergic to it. Low quality cinema? Develop an intolerance. Intolerance isn’t reserved for lactose and gluten. Got a friend who says stupid things? Claim an allergy. (Not to the friend, to the stupid things.) What if you don’t even like a certain color of paint? Of course you can be allergic to that too.
So, if something is looking unappealing to you, start acting like even the proximity of it makes you itch and swell.
And if the ploy works, be sure to thank an old, retired person.
Xenosthesia.com 