Another Dead Soldier

Toy soldiers go mostly unnoticed, even though they outnumber us by at least one hundred to one.

Since 1893* these little warriors have been stamped out in a variety of poses, ready for battle. They are not printed in squads but in battalions. They’re printed by the thousands and sold one hundred at a time for as little as one U.S. dollar. Packs of these soldiers often come stocked with miniature plastic tanks, miniature fences, bunkers, jets, and even helicopters.

In a pack of one hundred you could find a few ready to shoot bazookas, a few more prepping to shoot mortars, and a modest majority aiming rifles in a variety of poses. You can set up mock warfare in all its inglorious forms with these little guys.

Keep digging through the pile. There will be a brigade of plastic soldiers posed in the act of throwing a plastic grenade. Don’t worry too much—these plastics aren’t explosive.

Also included is at least one soldier with a radio. He’ll be your least favorite. Why? Because he isn’t posing as cool as the rest. Not action like the others, the radio man seems impotent instead of important. Of course, if these were real warriors and this was real war, the one with the radio would be invaluable. He’d actually be doing stuff. As a member of the plastic battalion though, he’s less than fantastic. If you were the destructive type of child you might sacrifice him. He might end up on the front lines somehow and lose an arm, a leg, or the whole battle.

Some of the plastic army will lose the battle to fireworks (not included). Others will lose the battle to the lawnmower. Still others will lose by being lost. You’ll never know what happened to them. Hopefully it wasn’t your favorite one you buried in the sand or dirt.

Regardless of which plastic soldier is your favorite, you have to admit these are the best toys considering how simple they are.

*Close enough.

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, twelve screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: