Funny Sports


Despite what your mom might tell you, playing hockey all day is not a complete waste of your time.

I can remember a day when I did just that. I barely made time for a meal or two that day. It was fun, and I was sore the next day, but it wasn’t a complete waste of time. For one thing, a creative person needs a playful outlet every once in a while. You gotta put on the skates sometimes and not take them off for a whole entire day. You can’t wear your business attire every day, every hour, and expect to remain creative. Eventually the business creeps into your soul, you start using phrases like, “Deterministic integrity of the demographic indicates sales timing.” Zombie gibberish.

A little excess fun can help you come up with a list like the one below.


10 funny, and phony, sports I wish existed:


Steroid-enhanced bantam racing.

Cage-fighting mixed martial arts with spider monkeys.

Roller Ball. (Thanks William Harrison!)

Teleportation portal racquetball.

Flash-grenade Jai Alai.

Library shelf indoor rock climbing competition.

Wall telephone-cord bunjee jumping.

Light cycles. (Thanks Tron!)

Downhill hockey.

Pizza dough disc golf.

Published by Kurt Gailey

This is where I'm supposed to brag about how I've written seven novels, twelve screenplays, thousands of short stories, four self-help books, and one children's early-reader, but I'd rather stay humble. You can find out about things I've written or follow my barchive (web archive, aka 'blog) at or follow me on twitter @kurt_gailey. I love sports and music and books, so if you're an athlete or in a band or you're a writer, give me a follow and I'll most likely follow you back. I've even been known to promote other people's projects.

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