Dos and Don’ts of Halloween

How to tell you aren’t doing Halloween right:

1. You forgot that it means All Hallows Eve.
2. You hand out candy. That is soo booring.
3. You put LIGHTS all over everything. Lights are for Christmas.
4. You play The Monster Mash every day.
5. No tricks? Not even one!?!
6. All you remember from the night is arriving at the bar.
7. You don’t believe pumpkins should be smashed.
8. You don’t believe in ghosts.
9. You’re 18 and you’re still running around Trick-or-Treating.
10. Store-bought costume.

How to tell you’re doing Halloween right:

1. You swear to only visit a house to haunt it.
2. If you play music, it’s ultra-scary.
3. Your costume came from your imagination.
4. Your costume is so elaborate you’re not sure how you’ll get out of it.
5. All your tricks end with someone covered in fake blood.
6. They won’t let you in the Corn Maze because your costume is too scary.
7. Instead of candy, you hand out temporary tattoos or rolled up dollar bills or Pop Tarts.
8. You spell out SMASH ME in the row of pumpkins on your porch.
9. You are the designated driver. (And everyone who gets a ride from you ends up covered in fake blood.)
10. Except for the fire in the pit, your house is DARK.
11. You celebrate All Hallows Day when you’re done with All Hallows Eve.