Mommy, Where Do Zombies Come From?

dusty spores

As every child who has ever asked there momma knows, zombies come from spores. Spores are little, bad gobs of dusty fuzz that cling to the following: the undersides of plants, chewed up gum on the sidewalk, dried up mushrooms, carbon dioxide molecules, socks, and of course in the vapor of an electronic cigarette. With every gust of wind, or careless step of a traveler, the spores are released from their hiding places and sent to the air around us where they are breathed in by unwary and unlucky souls. Whoever breathes in this toxic dust will first act as if they’ve been drinking with slurred speech and lowered inhibitions, then soon after they will start to search for brains. This is because the spores will be consuming the infected individual’s brain, turning them into a zombie, and so he, or she, will have a sudden urge to find brains elsewhere. So, keep your eyes out for those around you who appear to be searching for something they no longer have—and watch your step!

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