Maximum Complacence

Angry comes easy. It’s calm confidence which requires effort.

Frustration is common and it’s frustration we find at the root of anger. An irate person doesn’t know how to voice their desires. They don’t have control of something so their frustration bubbles up as a red-flushed face, pinched brow, clenched fists, clenched teeth, clenched buttocks, and shouted words. The more meaningless the words, the more deep the frustration. A confident person has no need to curse. Vocabulary decay happens when a person has lack of control.

A few routine items can cause immediate frustration. Everyday things like a commute, a meal, or a relationship are often where the loss of control begins. People often don’t know how to talk about their concerns.

Rare is the driver who says, “Okay, so you needed this lane. I wish you would have occupied the immense space behind me instead of the limited inches in front.”

Usually it’s a bit more like, “Are you #*@^ing blind!” accompanied by a sustained horn.

Frustration. Lack of control.

Why do we get frustrated? How do we arrive there? Did we even really need to arrive there? Or were we already there? Are we all just numbskulls ready to burst at the slightest hindrance to our plans?

Because anger comes so easily, I wonder if we’re already there, ready to blow a gasket, pop a fuse, burn up a brain cell. To avoid the frustration, we need to be more adaptable. We need to make plans of action, including how to avoid anger and frustration, instead of only plans of maximum complacence.

So, next question: how do we be adaptable? Adaptable people learn to adjust quickly. They learn to pivot. Pivoting is not necessarily the skill of skipping the end goal due to obstacles. It is more like the skill of going around the obstacles to get at the end goal from a different angle.

Also, adaptability comes from practice. Adaptable people get better at it from shifting the angle of action every chance they get.

Instead of learning to honk the horn longer or to shout louder, the adaptable person learns some choice new words. Words like: “Gort. Klaatu Barada Nikto.” They learn new phrases, such as: “Bring in the logic probe!”

Instead of getting angry about people cutting them off in traffic, they learn to avoid the traffic altogether, like with a car fitted with maximum hydraulics so they can drive OVER the traffic jams. Or a car fitted with a drill so they can pass UNDER the traffic jams. Or they’ll just drive a motorcycle so they can go BETWEEN.

Instead of getting frustrated, the adaptable person gets creative.